|
Ingrid
writes, "I
have a serious crush on a
man 17
years younger than me and it worries me a lot. I'm
attracted to him physically. I managed to get on his
'friends' list on Facebook (though he
doesn't know me and my age) and we have been
exchanging harmless, friendly messages about
music and hobbies. It's been fun but I feel a bit
bad about it. In real life, I know/see him but he
doesn't know I exist. I would really like to get over
this crush. What should I do? Should I stop sending
messages? I feel kinda stalker and just bad!"
I think the
age difference is not the problem, but the
mystery and
deception are. One option for you would to reveal
your identity and then explore if the
interest is
mutual. For all we know he might be equally interested
but there is also a possibility that he may find the
idea revolting. In that case, be prepared for the
consequences -- it appears that you do know him somewhat
in real life and it may be a bit uncomfortable for both
of you.
Now if you seriously want to get over this crush, it
maybe easier than you think. The very first thing to do
is what you suggest: stop contacting him and delete him
as a
friend. At the same time try to
develop
friendships with other people that you like and
start the
dating game. It doesn't have to be with
people
your age (I know a lot of people who realize that
people
their age are way too old for them). You can still
approach
men that are
younger
than you but do it without disguising your age or
identity. Once you
find
friendships and
dates
you might realize that it was just a crush that went
away. |
