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Carmen
had a
fling with a man hoping that it will help her
bring passion back to her marriage. On the contrary,
she completely
fell out of love with her husband and thinks only
about her lover. She writes, "The thing is I know what's
right and want to do the right thing but on the other
hand my heart is telling me something totally different.
And it's hard to
fix a marriage when your heart is not in it. I have
three beautiful children and a nice family but I do not
love my hubby. I don't know what to do. What can I
do to make myself
love my hun
again?"
I
know exactly where you are, but trust me, the heart is
very stupid. You can tell the heart to do whatever the
brain thinks is right. In other words, if you tell your
heart "what's right and want to do the right thing" it
will follow your orders. However, if you let your heart
dictate your life, you will never get anywhere in life.
Now, you didn't get here overnight or just because you
met a
hot guy. I am sure that there somewhere deep within
you, there were issues that you did not deal with
before. Plus, you reinforced your belief that your
hubby was bad and lover was good.
What that means is that you wouldn't
fall in
love with your husband overnight or without
obstacles. My best estimate is that it could take months
and you will need all the help that you can get from
your close friends and family members depending on who
knows what.
I am a big believer in small things. One at a time. For
example, if you have not
kissed
your husband for a long time, it will be naive of me
to expect that you will suck his
lips as if there is no tomorrow, but if you put your
head on his chest for one minute tonight as you watch TV
together, that will be awesome. You get the idea. Just
do one "loving" thing tonight that you have not done in
a long time even though you do not feel like it. |
