How can improve my sex life?

The passion is already gone

Summary: A recently married woman is realizing that the spark is gone from her marriage and she is already dissatisfied with her bedroom life.

Photo of a woman reading a sex book

Sandy writes, "I think my sex life is not so good as I want. Whenever me and my husband have sex I always feel myself distracted. I can't enjoy as much as I want. It's 2 years that we have been married but I think I cannot have orgasms. Many times I just do the fake moaning so that my husband feels that that I'm enjoying it. I'm really depressed and want to do something. I tried my best to just concentrate on sex and try to enjoy but I can't. The other problem is that earlier we used to have sex almost every day but now the gap is increasing. I always feel shy to initiate sex. We now have sex only when my husband asks me to do. Help me please. My sex life is so dull and boring."

First of all, as time passes on, frequency of sex goes down in any relationship, particularly, if a couple does not make changes. I mean you cannot eat vanilla ice-cream your whole life; you need to try other flavors.

Secondly, when you say that you get distracted, what is it that is bothering you? Is it a problem in your job or family or money? Whatever it is, you need to deal with it first, because worry, fear, stress, and depression can lower libido. If you tell me what it is, I can offer more tips.

Thirdly, there is nothing wrong with initiating sex or at least arranging the situation so that your husband is interested in sex more often. For example, if you wear something sexy in bed or play with your husband's body or act seductively, I am sure that he will be aroused more often, leading to more spontaneous sex.

Finally, have you tried masturbation? It is important for a woman to release herself and bring her to an orgasm on a regular basis. Absence of orgasm can lead to stress and depression. While you are making an effort to bring spice back to your life, it is a good idea to try self-pleasure.