| Courtney
writes, "I am in a
long
distance relationship with an
army guy. Before him,
I had absolutely no knowledge of the
military or the war, and I still feel ignorant. He
has been
deployed to Iraq twice. We
fell
madly in love quickly. We could never get enough of
each other. We literally talked and texted all day and
all night long. A couple days together were never
enough. He drove 12 hours to see me for a day. It was
always so intense. We found out he was deploying again
in several months and he reassured me that I was "The
one" and we could make it through this. That nothing
could break us. One day,
everything just changed. We got in a minor argument and
he
was so cold and just mean. He had never treated me that
way before. He didn't talk to me for days until finally
apologizing. I forgave him, feeling like I must have
done something wrong to upset him so much, to make him
push me
away.
A couple weeks later, he was on leave
for 2 weeks and I went out to
New York to
visit him for the entire two weeks. Immediately, I
knew he wasn't the same. When we were still in the La
Guardia airport, he lashed out at me because he didn't
want to pay for parking while I searched for my lost
luggage. I had just paid $300 to fly to see him. Yes, we
had our good times and he tried to pretend like
everything was ok at first but when it came down to it -
he treated me horribly. He barely paid attention to me.
I felt like a burden to him. When I asked him what was
wrong he would lash out and say nothing was wrong. He
called me
annoying - was cruel to me but then would tell
me he loves me so much. I left feeling more
depressed than I ever did. We didn't talk for 2 days
after I got home until he reached out to me telling me I
was the best thing to ever happen to him and that he is
so sorry.
I decided we could try to
work things out and he could try to
regain my trust and faith in him. It has been slow
and steady but he is slowly coming back to me. He's
becoming the
man I fell in love with again. The thing is he knows
he has problems with
depression from his tours, but says only he can help
himself. I can't help but wonder when will he push me
away again. When will "that man" come back? Can I do
this? Can I take this risk on my own heart? The answer
is yes. Am I scared, yes. What would I do if I lose him?
I don't know."
PTSD and depression in war veterans
|
|
Based on my discussion with a
few people who have direct experience with this,
war has lifelong impact on people. Yes, through
psychiatric help, they become more normal but
many remain
depressed for years and others have
committed crimes or
acted against their own best interests. |
I am glad that things are getting
better for you. As you can imagine, you will need to be
patient and he will need a lot of support from you and
his friends/ family. Also make sure that he gets all the
professional help that is available out there.
|
