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How to approach in a lesbian relationship?
Be subtle
Life can be
extremely difficult for those
women who are essentially lesbians but have suppressed their
desires. Imagine a 45-year old woman, who had always known that
she was a lesbian, but has yet to do anything beyond that. "I was
married and even have a child because it was expected that I would
have a man in my life and raise a family. Well I did just that. I
am divorced now for the past seven years. I was always
true to my marriage, I never dated or been with a woman, and
have just been a regular woman in every way. But now I like
someone. She is about 58, so
much older than me, and very sweet. I see her in the church,
and once a week in the women's group that we both go to. I have
only had short talks with her so far. We have hugged and it feels
good to hug her. I think that she has responded to my hugs,
acknowledging my warmth. I do not want her to know I have feelings
for her and this makes me shut my self completely in front of her.
I don't know if she is a lesbian, but she is single. I have simply
no experience
approaching or seducing a woman, but I want to find happiness.
Help me please," Irene writes. (Related article:
Tips on lesbian dating)
Now you
have a little bit of a challenge here and that is to see
if she may be at least open to a
lesbian relationship, if she is not a lesbian or is
not inclined positively to it. And the way you want to
find that out is to test it. If she is open to it, then
hopefully you can have a relationship with her; if not,
then you can try with someone else. But by doing the
things that I am recommending to you below, in case she is
not interested in you, you will still be able to be her
friend at the church without any embarrassment because you
have done nothing stupid or inappropriate. (Related
article:
How to approach when you are attracted to another woman
for a lesbian relationship?)
Next time you see her,
you should invite her for dinner at your home saying something like, "I would like to cook for you. When can you come?" What
will be even better is if you can ask her spend the weekend with you.So the day of the dinner,
decorate your home well. Make it inviting, soft, and pleasant. I would say that
dress
well, may be even a bit sexy. I don't know
what part of your body is best, but whatever it is, wear a dress that shows it. When she comes, treat her like any other guest, praise her dress and looks,
and make her comfortable with a glass of wine. But watch her carefully when you move around. Is she noticing you when you bend? Does she notice when you
show your
cleavage? Be very subtle, but do it. If you think that she is feeling relaxed and is enjoying herself, you might sit next to her on the sofa and
casually touch her on the arm once in a while while talking or cracking a joke.
At that point you can try some
seduction. One trick that I have found works for women in your situation is to talk about clothes (all women love that). So
you could say something like, "I have to go to a party next week and a lot of stylish people will be there. I want to look good so that I can mix with them
easily. But I am a little nervous. I don't know what to wear and what will look good on me. Maybe you can help." Now I don't think any woman will think
too much about it and will love to help you pick a dress. At that point you can bring her to your room and try a few dresses in front of her. Again you have
to observe her reaction very carefully as you undress and
pose in your outfits. (Related story: A
Latina seduces a man by changing clothes in front of him)
Let us now hope that she is enjoying herself and everything is going fine. You can then tell her how nice and kind she has been and give her a big hug. The
say something like, "Well since my
divorce, I miss a true friend in my life. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend to me. I really enjoy being with you
and I think we can be good friends."
Do not do anything hanky-panky after this but if she responds positively to your advances, you may have successfully tested that she is open to an
intimate
relationship with you.
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