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It
is not always easy to make friends on campus and even more
difficult to turn friendship into a relationship. But
this type of situations occur all the time. You meet
someone, like their company, hang out together, become
friends, and then you like him/her so much that you want a
relationship. (Related article: How
to minimize babe shock factor?)
So Guys, listen up. Stop complaining and start watching out for
girls who want to be your
friends and lovers. What we are trying to say is that men often assume that women are less interested than them and never take the initiative. Many girls who think that will get into trouble for making the first move, just wait for their Prince Charming to do something. Nothing happens! Let's see what Katie has to say. She is madly and desperately in love with a guy but he just doesn't get it.
Katie writes, "I have this friend of mine, Tom, who is two years older than me. He is an
exchange student in Cambridge, MA, and I see him about every two weeks on the weekends, when he has time. I'd say our relationship is pretty good in that we talk about a lot of things openly and always have a lot of fun. However, I know that I have deeper feelings than "just friends" for him. I want our relationship to progress romantically but I don't even know if he is interested in me that way, though I'd love to assume so. I don't know if I should let him know how I feel and that I'd like to try a romantic relationship because, to me, that seems too forward. He is a very nice, and handsome, guy but his brother's girlfriend describes him as
being a bit shy. I think maybe, even if he was interested in me, he still might not make the first move. He has already told me that he is interested in
dating an American girl, he doesn't want to date someone from his own country (and there are a few of them on the campus), and that I'm the only American girl that he feels he can talk to. So of course, odds seem to be in my favor but yet, nothing's happened. I'm getting impatient because I'm
lonely
and I hate beating about the bush like this. So how can I speed
things up? I don't want to mess up a good thing but I can't sit
around doing nothing either. Please let me know what to do! Please help!"
(Related article: What
is the right time to date?)
We already told the guys, who might be reading this, what to do, that is, watch for any positive indications and make your move. Be subtle and cool; you have nothing to lose. Here is some advice for Katie:
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When you are dealing with a shy man, you better
stop being shy and take control of the situation. After all he has already given you some subtle hints (he wants to date an American, you are the only girl he talks; duh! What else do you need?), and it is best that you reciprocate.
(Related:
How much time for making love?)
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How are you going to do this? Just be honest. Tell him exactly how you feel about him and he will appreciate your honesty. It will start the relationship on a very strong foundation. (Related:
Smart
dating)
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You can make the whole thing very romantic as well. Like go for a walk on the Charles River and tell him there; or something along those
lines.
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