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I get
dozens of emails about
failed romances that just went bad and the whole
thing just ended into a nasty experience. I still find
it hard to believe that some couples in the US and many
other western countries not only
divorce each other but fight like cats and dogs in
court - I have heard horror stories of
how couples fight over what belongs to whom. After
years of being supposedly in love (after all there are
no
arranged marriages in the West as there are some in
Japan
and in many other Asian countries) for years, couples
just erase everything and start treating the other
person as an enemy (I would have liked to say
stranger but we are all generally nice to even
strangers!) Ron tells me his story that made
me cry.
I know
how hard it is to
find
someone special, but when you do
find the right person, sometimes family,
career,
and life in general can get in the way. I am
a
college student and I met my
former girlfriend in one of my classes. At the time
I wasn't
looking for a girlfriend, I just wanted to graduate.
Anyway, we locked eyes several times and over the course
of the semester we started dating. We were together for
almost two years. One thing I forgot to mention was that
she was from
Singapore and this was the first time I
dated an Asian girl. I have
dated plenty of American girls in the past but with
my
ex-girlfriend there was something special about her.
When I brought her home to
meet my
parents, they were surprised to say the least. My
father wasn't to pleased but my mother knew I loved her,
so she was cool with that. Although we couldn't go out
much because of our school and my work schedule, but we
made do with what little time we had.
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This past spring semester she went
back home to
Singapore to complete her internship and we stayed
in touch through e-mail. I had my doubts whether
or not her parents would approve of me because I
was an American - I asked her if she showed my
picture to her parents but she would sidetrack
the subject. |
I knew that
she wanted to come back to the States to go into the
television industry. However I also knew that to get
a good job in the
television industry in America, you have to be in
the television union, and to get into the union you
first have to be an
American citizen. While she was in Singapore I
looked into quick ways for her to
get her citizenship, but the fastest way was
through marriage. When she came back I told her what
it takes for a
good career in
television in America, and
I told her about my
marriage idea. I told her that I loved her very much
and I only wanted to look out for her best interests.
Then I told her the full details: we go to USCIS and
file the paperwork, wait the 2 weeks, then go to the
courthouse and file for a marriage license. After the
approval comes, we
get
married, then we live together for 3 years to
satisfy the Immigration Agency. After the 3 years have
passed, we will sit down and discuss
where our relationship is going. If we want to stay
married, then we will have the full ceremony. If by the
end of the 3 years, we can't stand being around each
other, we go to the courthouse and file for an annulment
of marriage and go our separate ways.
After I told her all that, she said "no," she didn't
even tell me that she will think it over. We haven't
spoken to each other for almost two months. I have an
e-mail friend in Japan and I told him my problem. He
suggested that I try
dating a Japanese girl, I would be much happier. I
really don't know if because a
person is of a certain race or ethnic background
makes
a better lover, it is what is on the inside that
really counts. However I will try my friend's advice,
there is no harm in trying, right? |
