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Leslie
writes, "I am an 18 year old female. I just married the
love of my life five days ago. The only problem is that
my parents don't support me. He is 43 years old. This is
quite an
age gap I know but we do not see any
problem in our marriage due to that. I just see the
person I love. How do I get them to understand? Why
don't other people see us for the
happy couple we are instead of him being a
pervert
and me stupid?"
First of all, be proud of your decision and stay strong.
You have done nothing wrong or stupid. And this is why.
I have seen way too many
marriages fail even when the couple is the same age
and a large number of
marriages thrive with huge age gaps. In other words,
age gap is no big deal. If you knew what you wanted
and this man loves you for what you are, you will have a
great marriage. Just trust your heart and
give the best you can to your marriage and you will
do just fine. If people
criticize you, well, just ignore them. They will
criticize if you had married a
fat guy or a short guy or a
bald guy or a
man
of another race.
Now having said that, consider your parents' concerns
too. They belong to the old school and think that their
little
girl was trapped by an
old
man. Plus
marrying so early means that you may not be able to
go to college or
build a
career (unless you plan to do that despite being
married and I will be so proud of you for that). There
is also some evidence that
women who marry so young end up divorcing at a
faster rate (though in that case both
partners are younger than 25). I think, as your
parents, they are genuinely concerned about your
well-being.
My suggestion to you would be to
focus on your marriage and husband. Ignore what
others are telling you, and if someone does not like
what you did, well, to hell with them. Personally, I
would also suggest that regardless of how
rich your husband is, you should still complete your
college education, wait to
have kids (even though, he might be in a hurry to
be a dad and
older fathers often be a problem), and
become independent (remember that this guy is
25 years
older than you so you will need to spend a great
deal of time in your life without him). |
