Should a married woman divorce her husband for her married boyfriend?

• Remember that the job description/professional ethics of a marriage counselor is to help a couple work through their differences and issues so that they can stay together by developing a plan that is built on compromises. They are not doing anything devious; it is just what they are hired/trained for and that is what their clients expect.
• To resolve your own issues, like what do you want out of your own life and how to plan for the future, the answers might come with the help of a life coach or personal therapist.
• Regarding leaving your spouses and getting together, it is something that should be planned carefully. My niece was in exactly similar set of circumstances and while she asked her husband for a divorce, her boyfriend chickened out after pressure from church and family members. She is now divorced and he is back with his wife; obviously, their extramarital affair has ended on a very bitter note. It is hard to judge if she is happy with the outcome because she probably is because she was unhappy in her marriage but in the end she did not get the man she left her husband for. It has been years now and she is still struggling with alcohol addiction, depression, and therapy has not helped her much. So I encourage you both to do this the right way if that is what you choose to do.

• My conclusion is that both of you are in marriages that are irreparably broken and as tough as it may sound, the right approach is not to wait till the kids are 18. The right step is to divorce now and be together. Obviously, it is going to be painful and some outcomes maybe less than optimal, but life is all about making compromises and this is the best that you two can hope for. There is a lot of research that shows that children growing up in families with toxic environments (dad and mom are not in love, often fight, and are supposedly together for the sake of kids) are less balanced than those who grow up with a single parent or within a blended (most likely, happy) family. Neither of you are doing any good to your children by raising them in families which are not emotionally together. Maybe kids are too young to see it right now but very soon they will see that mom and dad are not in love like the rest of the parents and that will have lifelong consequences on their emotional health.
• It looks like that this path maybe less appealing to your boyfriend, though, I am sensing that you are so ready for it. That means that you two need to develop that level of trust in each other because if there is love and trust anything is possible. So tell him to take the plunge now. That is what John Partilla and Carol Anne Riddell or possibly even Shania Twain and Frederic Thiebaud did.
• If he shows hesitation or finds excuses even after you do the best you can to convince him, then you have some thinking to do. As romantic as it may sound, waiting 5-10- years to do this sounds like a waste. Life is too short to waste in waiting and only those who are bold can find happiness. Over-analysis and fears only cause paralysis and misery. 

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