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Miki
from Singapore writes, "I really wonder what life would be
like to
be married to a Japanese man. When I went to Japan, I saw
housewives who all look so contented with life. My girlfriend who
is married and lives in Saitama Prefecture in Japan also looked so happy and contented to
stay at home and look after her kids. Makes me want to get married
too to Japanese." (Related:
Making
love to a Japanese man) Miki
is raising an extremely interesting point that has been pointed out in
several other emails in the past by MYNIPPON guests. We have, of course,
been addressing issues related to life of married women through our writings.
To further explore this issue, we recently conducted a
series of interviews and surveys with Japanese couples and have some eye-opening
findings:
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- People in Japan get married because that is the only accepted
way. Unmarried people do not have a meaningful role in the
society
- The goal of marriage is to meet social expectations and raise
children. Love is not central to marriage
- As many as 70% of the couples do not sleep together once they have
a child. Before having a child, 25% of the couples do not
sleep together. Despite being at an age when their libidos are
running wild, a whopping 70 percent of Japanese couples in their 20s
would prefer to have separate bedrooms, According to Shukan Bunshun,
as many as three out of four couples in their twenties would prefer a
separate bedroom. The finding comes from research by Matsushita
Electric Works which sells products for these bedrooms
- Some (20%)
Japanese couples do not have physical
intimacy for months and once a month is very common for as many as 45% of the
couples
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Why does everyone looks so satisfied then?
Japanese women in most parts of the country
go to college to find future
husbands. Once they graduate, the next step is to
plan the wedding, and
spend rest of their lives doing what they want but being married so that they
have the social respect that is needed. Similarly, Japanese men, who grow
up being totally spoiled by their mothers, seem to need someone to take care of
the household, and therefore, a wife is a good idea. Thus, a couple stays
together for totally selfish reasons. (Related:
Romantic relationships
in Japan)
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Japanese men are
obsessed with young and fresh. That
obsession is evident from the several fetishes and presence of entertainment establishments geared towards
bored, middle-aged men. Even
onsens
provide unique entertainment options for the predominantly male crowd during
weekends. Japanese women are taught to be discreet enough not to ask their
husbands about specific details of their lives. Thus,
not having physical
intimacy with
their wives is not considered strange (Sexually
unsatisfied women). Sometime ago, one of the TV
stations in Japan organized a contest in which men had to call their wives
and talk to them as long as possible to earn money. The conversations were
unbelievably hilarious since most women were too shocked to find that their
husbands actually wanted to talk to them and wanted to terminate the
conversation as soon as possible. |
 Japanese women have also accordingly found their own ways
to amuse themselves. For a large number of women, the most pleasure comes
from raising a family. When they get bored, they just go shopping
or do other things that
housewives do -
learn dancing,
party with other housewives, or
have an affair.
Many
Japanese women take on young men as lovers, mostly students who need a bit
of extra cash. Several companies are dedicated exclusively to catering to
the romantic needs of
middle-aged housewives. The Internet
has made it even easier to arrange such rendezvous in a discreet manner.
It is clear that both men and women have developed systems
that enable them to pursue their lives the way they wanted and still meet the
socially acceptable standards. No wonder everyone looks so contented.
Recommended links: A
theme party in Tokyo
Relationship
problems with a Japanese woman
Latino men, Japanese women Rocky
relationship with a Japanese woman
Hollywood weddings
Marriage of convenience
Date married Japanese women
How long to date before getting married |
