Do you
remember that hunk that gave you the time of your life
while you were in
Barbados? But do you also remember
that you were the ones paying for his drinks and meals.
And if you wanted to ever see him again you will have to
pay his airfare. Yes, there are times when we are
attracted to someone simply because he is so different.
The woman with a doctorate degree falls for an auto mechanic
who surfs before going to work. Others fantasize
about the construction guys outside the office window!
Attraction to
something and someone different is natural but it does not
always work out when it comes to
relationships. Let
me illustrate that by taking the example of your career.
Will you take up a
job if it is totally opposite to your
values? If you believe in protecting the
environment, will you be comfortable working for timber
company? Or will you work for a tobacco company if
you understand that
smoking kills. Yeah, a surfer
may be intriguing and exciting, but if you are a marine
biologist who is excited by exploration of underwater
life, his surfing skills may only be of minor help.
Or if you are an
attorney, you might be even embarrassed
to bring your construction guy to an
office party.
Yes, love knows no limits and can often happen among very
different people, but in vast majority of cases, we only
build everlasting relationships with people who are more
like us and share similar backgrounds. And I am not
trying to say that these folks are not good people or we
should look down upon them - I am strictly talking about
having
good, long-term relationships.
So how to pick
your partner when something is different?
-
Assess how
it fits in with the overall personality.
For example, if you are lawyer attracted to a
doctor who chooses to work for a charity
hospital and earns the equivalent of a
minimum-wage worker, while everything may be
opposite of who you are, you will still find
many areas of compatibility.
-
Find out if
you will change too. Let us say
you don't play baseball but are attracted to a
sportsman. You even enjoy going to a few
games with him. But will you be able to
enjoy going to all the games or having the
television always tuned to ESPN?
-
Ask if he
is also attracted to someone opposite for the
right reasons. It is equally
important that he too understands what he is
getting into.
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