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Platonic to romantic

How to make the transition?

Summary:  A woman in a solid relationship with a male realizes that she actually fell in love with him and wants to consummate the relationship despite the huge age gap.
Couple in a platonic relationship sharing an appleBridgette writes, "I have been seeing regularly but just platonically a many 30 years younger than me. I am afraid to say that I am 67 and he is just 37. I am sure everyone is shocked. If we go out I automatically get given the bill and when we went out one day he was referred to as "my son". He is a high autistic, so age to him does not matter and I suppose an older woman is less challenging. The problem is that I have become sexually attracted to him and know that maybe I should end the relationship because of this. However, we are good friends and it seems a shame. I know it is wrong my seeing him and we go out and have coffee together, go for walks and have lunch and dinner and he teaches me how to work my personal computer. Should I not see him anymore?"

Actually, it is very common for people to fall in love with a friend. After all when you spend a lot of time together and share all the details without the fear of being judged or hurting (as happens with spouses and lovers), it is natural that you want to love the one you trust so much.

So your problem is twofold. One, you are in love with a friend after having a platonic relationship. Two, this man happens to much younger than you.
Regarding converting a platonic relationship in a romantic relationship, the transition in most cases can be really smooth because the hurdles that a couple faces in a conventional dating situations have already been overcome. If he feels the same about you and is open to a romantic relationship with you, go ahead and explore it. The only thing to remember is that if it does not work out, your platonic relationship may be gone forever and you might lose a great friend.

Regarding dating someone so young, well, it is not as big a deal as it used to be. People may not have someone they know doing it, but they know it is starting to happen. Yes, some people will ridicule you or avoid you or even ask you to stop, but if I lived my life according to what the world wants me to do, I will go nowhere or go where I do not want to go. I know you are much older and wiser than me, but I want to remind you that you got here because you chose what was good for you. So do it one more time and everything will fall into place. I wouldn't worry about how others perceive him. People will always find a way to say something nasty, be it race or skin color or ethnicity or social status.

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