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Julie,
20,
recently married to a 35-year old man, is finding
that her husband has his own group of friends and
online girlfriends, and rarely spends time with her.
She even suspects that he maybe
secretly socializing with his ex-wife and may even
be
cheating on her with any of his virtual girlfriends
that he spends a lot of time on every night. She writes,
"Since he
sleeps in a separate
bedroom even though we have been married just one
year, I went to that room and I spoke to him. I was very
calm and said to him that by
sleeping in another room, he is not being helpful
and that our
marriage is falling apart. I told him that I was
trying my best to be a
good wife but his behavior was pushing me away. To
my shock, he started apologizing, because in the past, a
simple conversation like that almost always led to a
fight. He told me that he loved me and was planning
a
vacation for the two of us and at that time he would
really talk to me. He told me that I was a
very good woman and he was stupid to not recognize
that so far. He added that without my goodness he would
not be able to
live the life that he has. Obviously, I was very
happy to hear all those sweet words and am looking
forward to a
romantic getaway to Dubai. When I specifically asked
him about his
addiction
to naughty movies on the Internet, he said that he
did not like the question and tried to skip discussing
it. Is he a
good man? What do you think? Should I believe what
he has to say? I really
want this marriage to work out for the sake of our
child."
Guilt can be a powerful emotion
I think it is great news is that he is finally realizing
that what he is doing is not right. I am glad that he
also realizes his mistakes and by saying that he will
tell you more about his life when you are on
vacation, maybe he is hoping to share more with you.
So this is what I want you to do. Plan your
vacation with him, go on it and then be as nice as
you possibly can be. Do your best to see if you can make
some progress --
marriage is a lot of work and requires a lot of
communication to fully appreciate each other.
Could the husband be pulling a fast
one on the wife?
I am still a little concerned that he is not being
totally honest with you about his
addiction.
I think he is hiding something very big, maybe something
that will shock you if he tells you. So let us just wait
to see if he tells you the truth about what it is. It
could be something as unexpected that
he is gay
or
bisexual or
in love
with someone else.
There is something else that is bothering me and it is
that maybe he thinks that you are this simple, naive,
stupid,
gullible woman and if he
takes you on a vacation and treat you well for some
time, you will become happy and forget all your
problems, and then shut up so that he can keep doing
what he is doing. I know there are some
men like
that and they take advantage of
young girls like you.
So while I want you to do the best possible during the
days leading up to the vacation and during the
trip, but also be careful knowing that he may just
be trying to make a fool of you. And I sincerely
hope that I am wrong and that he genuinely is remorseful
and wants to make things better, but it is my
responsibility to warn you. |
