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| How to reunite after separation?
Every conflict has a resolution, so resolve it
| Summary: Indeed some
couples make terrible choices while
choosing their
partner to marry, most people
pick someone after seeing
a lot of similarities. Of course, all
couples hit
rough patches and feel as if separation or
divorce are
the only alternatives, if they sit down and look
carefully, they will see that they have more things in
common than their differences. That is why I argue
below why it makes sense to look at the good things that
brought them together in the first place, and use these
to
save their marriage. |
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Gary
is an
older man married to a much younger woman
and is going through an existential crisis as
his
health is failing, he cannot
keep up with
her still very high energy level both in and out
of bed, and is starting to see
signs of aging on
him. Rather than accepting them, he is becoming
paranoid and is suspecting that his
wife maybe
looking elsewhere to satisfy herself. He writes,
"She recently
found some new friends that are
really cool with her. I know I may be reading in
it too much. But
she is attractive, I'm an
older
guy (I am in my 60s), maybe my
insecurity is working overtime.
She is young
(she is just 30), sometimes guys call the house, she
takes the call in the
bedroom
rather than with me being around, and I start to
imagine that she has
extramarital lovers. I
explained this to her, then she seemed to
realize, if the
shoe was on the other foot. We
have been separated for several months, hope to
get back in a few weeks because the two boys really
miss me. I hope we can work on it. A
marriage
counselor is being considered as well. Anything
else I need to think about?" |
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I am glad to her that you guys are
reuniting. I can understand how it feels but remember
that she belongs to a different generation and people in
this generation are different. While I am only in my 40s
I see a lot of family members in their 30s and I have to
say they are different in so many ways. So you just will
have to learn to appreciate the differences and live
with them.
Yes, working with a counselor is a great idea but you
can also set some rules for
socializing. For example,
you two can agree that it is not acceptable for either
one of you to have
friends of the opposite sex that you
cannot
introduce to each other. So if she has some
single guy friends it is fine as long as you both can
hangout with him or them. That is the
best way for
couples to maintain friendships after marriage. |
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Related:
How to seduce my wife's friend |
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