While the
latest trend maybe for
older women to date and
proudly show off their much younger boyfriend, some of
the simple
rules for dating still apply. And one of
them is related to not dating someone who is not old
enough to make up his/her mind about a relationship. Note:
Laws vary; so make sure you understand the local law with
respect to
dating age gap.
I think
that is exactly what Hillary is doing but she still wants
to confirm. "Is it wrong for me to have feelings for a 17
year old when I'm 27 yrs old and he lives in a group home?
He is due to be out and on with his life in the next 6
months. I have told him that I will not go further
than a friendship until he is 18 years old, but my
feelings grow more and more everyday that I see and spend
time with him. Please give me advice on this; some parts
of me feel that it's OK because I
dated
older men when I was 16 but then the other part of me
feels it's wrong since we have a 10 year gap and he lives
in the group home that I work at. I am in no shape or form
seducing him, but I can tell he has a huge
crush on
me. I know all the legal aspects and I would never cross
the line with him as I am grounded to the 18 and older
thing. Once again, please advise," she writes.
No, it isn't
wrong to
love someone younger in general, but yes, it is not
right to have a relationship with a 17-year old.
You
have done the right thing by telling him that you will not
have anything to do with him till he is 18 and out of the
group home.
In
the meantime, it is much better if you limit or
even stop interacting with him. If both of you are
made for each other, your feelings will not change
 during
next 6 months and you can
have a relationship at that time.
However, if he has a crush on you simply because
he has had a troubled childhood and you are a
loving person helping him, it will soon go away as
he ventures into the real world.
Well,
it may have been OK for you at the time to think
that it was fine to
date an older man when you were 16, but
clearly it was not OK for that
older man to date you. You are in the latter
position now - not in the former position.
(Related:
Future of relationship with a younger boyfriend)
I
wouldn't worry about the 10-year gap and you are
still young but you must also stick to your
current policy - which is both legally and morally
the right thing to do. Wait till he is out of the
home and is 18. (Related:
How
to introduce your younger boyfriend)
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