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Can I tell my husband about my affair?
Only if your marriage is solid
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Summary: I am not convinced
that you should tell your spouse about your adulterous
behavior and it is best to keep it a secret forever. |
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Ashley,
a married
woman in her
40s,
had an
affair with a married man, who did not want to go
beyond an
extramarital affair. While they no longer see each
other, she still misses him and seems to still loves
him. At the same time, her
marriage is falling apart as she can't make herself
love
her hubby again. She wants to tell her husband her
lover's wife about the
affair. She writes, "I don't look at it as
revenge. I met his wife a few months ago and
she is the sweetest person in the world. And I think she
should know what happened between me and her
husband. I know it was wrong and I've been thinking
about telling my
husband what happened just to get peace of mind.
This thing has been really getting to me the last 2-3
days. When I think I'm over him and try to
move
on it's like a ton of bricks weighing me down again.
I've been talking to one of my friends (she's a
minister) a lot but it's still bothering me. I can't
figure out why can't I just move on. Why is something
still holding me back making me feel this hurt all over
again?"
Personally
I think sharing this info with either your hubby or his
wife is a very risky idea. Both relationships will
change forever, most likely, in a very unpredictable
manner. If someone or my wife tells me that my
wife
cheated on me, even if I forgive her, I might never
forget that and will always live knowing the fact that
she did. On the other hand, if she
cheated and moved on, honestly, I don't want to know
that no matter how good she might feel telling me the
truth.
It appears that you have already
shared this secret with several people and sharing
this with the spouses is going to bring nothing but
trouble.
I am not convinced that sharing this information with
the spouses will help you move on -- that is a totally
separate project in your life. Basically you are feeling
used and
rejected by your lover, whom you deeply love, and
you just can't seem to accept the reality that this guy
is merely a dream at this point. |
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| Related:
Consequences of adultery
I am married but I want to seduce a man
How can a
married woman hint that she is ready to cheat
Boyfriend
cheats but still loves me
How to seduce a married woman? |
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