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Meredith
writes, "I am 19 years old and have been having a
sexual
relationship with a 40 year old man for about four
months now. At first it was just a bit of fun for me. I
was still seeing other people. He always seemed really
interested in me. However, recently, he does not seem
bothered or keen at all,
never getting in contact with
me. I think he is definitely
seeing other women. I have
now really fallen for him and it's getting me down.
I don't know what to say to him? I never thought I would
fall in love with this man?"
The word casual means not serious
The way you describe it, you both were
looking for
casual sex and that is why when he was done
with you he
moved on, as is the usually the case with
casual relationships. I also wouldn't doubt that
considering the
huge age difference he does not see
potential for a
long-term relationship with you.
I totally understand how you feel right now and are
hurting. On the other hand, he is an
older man and has
much more experience
dealing with women,
breakups, and
moving on while you are still
so young and struggling
with your emotions. I wouldn't be surprised if this your
first breakup and that is why so much harder.
He dumped you; now get over it
Tell me this, do you see a
future with this man? And
based on whatever you know at this moment, did he ever
give you an impression that he was looking for something
long-term? If the answer to both questions is yes, it is
probably a good idea to contact him and suggest that you
like him a lot and are interested in
pursuing a
relationship with him. If the answer is no, then, you
would need to work on moving on and think of this
experience just as you thought it was going to be --
fun. Time is the best healer and I am confident that as
you divert your mind and start
dating other men, he will
become a distant memory. |
