Natalie
writes, "I am a
married woman but I dream of
falling in love with my son's rugby coach. I am
 not
sure if he fancies me as well but I have seen him look
at me and I hope that he feels the same about me. He's a
dad and husband but I dream of him all the time,
usually
making love to me. I don't
dream about anyone else -- not even my
wonderful husband -- other than him. I
love
my husband and I am
happily married but would like to have a
secret affair with the coach. There is definitely a
physical attraction but just don't know how I can find
out why he looks at me when we are at the club or at the
matches. I am 38 and he must be 10 years older. He used
to say hello to me and I would respond and then freeze
because I didn't know what to say to him. Now he never
says hi and I want him to start to say hi while I work
on what to say to him next time he greets me. There is a
rugby tour and fourteen players and the parents are
going for four days. He'll be there and it's important
that the
move is made and the
ice broken. This has been going on for three years
and it's getting very frustrating. How can I talk to
him? What should I say to him next time if he says hi or
smiles at me? I just want an affair and no more than
that."
I think the first thing that you have to do is to
confirm if the
attraction is mutual, or at least there is hope that
if you make an effort he will
become interested. Remember that he too is married
and may not have the desire and freedom to have an
extramarital relationship. Once you have confirmed
that he is interested or may become interested, it is
time to
earn
his trust and start an
affair.
How to go about it?
In my opinion he stopped greeting you because you did
not respond warmly enough when he used to. It is fair to
assume, therefore, that he thought you were not
interested in even simply greeting him. I understand
your challenge because once we are
attracted to someone it is common to become
tongue-tied. What you will have to do is to
start the conversation and since you have a topic to
talk about, start there. There is no better topic than
to discuss your son's performance, how he is doing, what
can you do to help him perform better, does he have any
suggestions, how is the tour going, what are the chances
of the teams winning, etc. Trust me, other conversations
like weather or local news or gossip will then come
naturally. Since you have not really chatted, you will
need to initiate the discussion by saying something
like, "Hi, I am (son's name) mother and I just wanted to
follow up on his progress." Hopefully the
conversation would go well and from then on you can
start small talk every time you see each other.
At that point you can sit next to him on the dining
table, show up regularly at practice sessions (to cheer
up your son but also to be close to him), and then
suggest a cup of coffee or drink to chat more about a
common topic of interest (men always like to talk about
sports,
entertainment,
cars, etc.). And you really don't have to know these
things to talk; all you need is curiosity. For example,
if you know nothing about rugby, you can ask if he would
mind explaining the complexities of the game while you
watch a game together. This approach can be applied to
almost anything -- we all love to share our knowledge
with others. I am expecting that he will get the idea
that your interest in him is beyond that and as a woman
you should then know
what to do to seduce a man. |
