Learning Japanese language
Practicing it with Japanese students might be a challenge

By MYNIPPON Team, (With help from John M at University of Hawaii)

Not all Japanese students in the US are exactly above average by Japanese standards.  In fact, many of them may have come here to study because they:

Those are some reasons why many Japanese come to the US to study though many are extremely bright students and come to the US for the same reason that the brightest students from India, China, and many other countries.

Japanese men on campus

If a woman can behave like a Japanese woman, then she is more likely to attract Japanese men.  These men tend to feel intimidated by American women because they do not understand English well, nor do they understand American women like they do Japanese women.  Some Japanese businessmen openly say that they prefer Japanese women, but if they could understand and speak English perfectly, they would want an American woman.

Many Japanese young men LOVE American girls (by 'American' they mean one with blonde hair, blue eyes, and looks like Britney Spears--many of them seem to think that there is an 'American' race and African-Americans and other with American passports are actually not ‘American’), but many of them do not seem to like the personality of these women – confident, open-minded, independent, etc.  However, some of them may not always care about personality anyway--they just see the body that is there for their gratification.  (Related article:  Foreign language words in Japanese)

Learning Japanese language from Japanese students

Many of these people, understandably so, who come from Japan do not seem to be interested in teaching Japanese--they just want English practice.  A few of the biggest frustrations when learning Japanese at a university in the US are:

• “When I speak in Japanese, I get a response in English”. This is not a natural way to use a language.   
• “I'll teach you Japanese”.  Many of these students came here for the purpose of improving their English, so they feel it is a waste of their time and money to try teaching some dumb gaijin how to speak their language.  Perhaps those words “I'll teach you Japanese” are spoken with sincerity in the beginning, but when the Japanese person realizes that teaching Japanese is no fun and might actually make them lose focus on their goal, they give up on this fake Japanese person (or a gaijin actually) and revert to speaking Japanese with real Japanese.
• “You speak Japanese very well”.  PLEASE do not take this compliment seriously.  It does not matter whether you can say 2 or 3 words in Japanese, or whether you can speak fluently.  Inside, they are really thinking, “This person is not Japanese and while I am glad he is trying he or she has a long way to go”.  If they really believed that your Japanese was good, they would speak to you in Japanese.

Friends of the opposite gender

This is probably one of the biggest problems for men, though the problems may be different if you are female.  

• If a man has a female Japanese friend, he always has to wonder what her motives and intentions are.  Some of these girls are looking for a gaijin boyfriend because they think it's cool.  Others may just want to try to use him for free English lessons or a free ride to the beach in his car.   Many American men find that these girls often wind up being “dead-end friends”.  This means that for some reason or other they do not wish to invite him to activities with their other Japanese friends.  This could be because they don't want the other Japanese friends to get the wrong idea (i.e. “What’s she doing with this gaijin?  I thought she already has a boyfriend in Japan).  The end result is, men often find that when she returns to Japan they never hear from her again or she is simply not committed to a meaningful relationship.  She might even say romantic words to keep the relationship as long as it is convenient for her but then she just wants to go back to her Japanese beau not to upset the social system.
• There is a difference between the way women and men speak in Japan.  If one learns Japanese from a person of the opposite gender, he or she will sound strange and not gain respect in Japanese society.
• Men also find that they cannot be seen with more than one Japanese woman even though he might just think of them as friends.  This is because of a very negative stereotype about gaijin men and Japanese women. Many gaijin men like the Japanese women because they look cute and are supposedly an easy lay.  These men have a hobby of picking up Japanese girls and using them for intimacy.    

Recommendations

It is always difficult to learn a language in a country different from the one where it is spoken.  You can see the terrible English the Japanese people had when they have learned it in Japan.  To really master Japanese you need to live and study in Japan.  In fact just living in Japanese countryside is good enough an opportunity to master Japanese.  So if you can find a way to work in Japan for a while you should grab the chance.  Even in Japan, the language exchange programs do not necessarily work because the Japanese women who join them are basically trying to hang out with a gaijin to practice English and do not mind sleeping with him if this is what it takes.  The best way to learn Japanese is to make friends with Japanese who do not speak a word of English and in order to do so you will need to find interests other than just language.  So if you have hobbies like music or pottery or anything else you might want to use that as a way to connect.

We are not discouraging sincere students committed to learning Japanese in the US (for many students it is a great way to prepare for their trip to Japan) but are essentially providing a reality check so that their expectations are more in line with the reality.  

Recommended links:  Finding a Japanese boyfriend - Advice for foreign women    Story of making friends in Japan

Heather Schmidt speaks Urdu