| Peter
writes, "After being together 16 years and married for
two, my wife says she's
not happy any more and that I'm smothering her. We
also have worked together - she just
celebrated a birthday turning 41. I'll turn 52 soon.
We're pretty
active
sexually - probably me the aggressor. When I tell
her how
beautiful she is or that I want to
make love to her, she gets angry. I just don't know
what to do. When I
try harder to please her she just gets even angrier.
It's more complex than that, of course. Big part of me
wants it to get better but there is a part of me that
says there's the door! She has a
girl friend she talks to at least 4 or 5 times a day
and tells her everything which I don't think helps -
just so you know I also started to go to AA meetings
once a week. Not really an
addict but more of a weekend user which she has also
to start with. It was that but then she told me she was
just plain unhappy. Read somewhere that if you are
insecure, has your
wife ever said she's leaving - yes. Do you think she
may sleep
with someone else? Yeah maybe; so maybe I am
insecure man; am trying to get past it all and be
nice. I do love her,
making love to her and just being with her makes me
feel good, but she can be a real B. Also, which I can
too!"
Yours has become what I call a
dysfunctional relationship. And the
lack of
communication,
anger management issues,
addiction, and
lack of trust definitely do not help. Having said
that no relationship will last 16 years if the couple
did not have
common interests and strong
emotional bond.
Yes, you both seem to have volatile tempers and strong
personalities, but I am sure that if you both work on
your
anger issues and talk through your differences,
things will be much better. Additionally, you need
to be less aggressive.
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