Ed writes, "I have been with my
girlfriend for
9 months before we
broke up. We had a
healthy relationship, we
loved each other so much and told each other we
would always be with each other and that we didn't want anyone
else. She had her
trust issues but tried her best to work
through them. We took a break last
month because I had told my mom of some of our
sex history and
she was upset with me. She said I told our business too much
and I understood that and was
hoping that she would understand that I was sorry and
everything would be okay. I didn't call her for a day and half
during a long weekend and she was mad,
saying that I was so into the
relationship getting back
together then I didn't make an effort to call her. She
understood later that she was just letting her
emotions get the best of her. I was in summer school at the
time; she drove 90 miles and surprised me and
shared an
intimate night and we were back together.
Then when she went back home, problems seemed to come back up.
She said she was
losing her passion, that everything wasn't
the same anymore. Even when she
kissed me or hung out with me, it just wasn't the same
anymore. She had a problem with opening up fully to me, so
when I did things like complained too much,
was too clingy, too controlling and whined and nagged, she
would not say nothing and it built up on her and she got
annoyed and turned off of the
relationship. We eventually broke up and I have been trying to
hard to get back together but have been hearing from friends
to rather move on or give her
space and make it seem as if I have so that she will try and
come back. She says she still loves me but she doesn't know if
she is in love with me still and
that she doesn't want to be
in a relationship right now and
that she wants to be alone. But something in me won't let her
go. What should I do and how do I
know if it's meant to be or not?"
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All relationships have ups and downs. Also
people fall in and out of love too. That's just the way things
are. I know people who get a
divorce after 50
years of great marriage. Sometimes all it takes is a small
incident that can trigger a new
emotion because a lot of small
things were piling up over the
years.
One of these things has probably happened in her case. It is
still very likely that she will come back to you but will only
when she feels like it. The
more you try to approach her, the more it will turn her away
from you. |
 So what can you do?
This is what I suggest. Leave her alone for the time
being because that is what she wants. You can either
tell her that or you can just keep it to
yourself, but it makes sense to have a mental time frame
in mind, say, 90 days. If nothing changes during that
period, you should simply think of it as a
beautiful memory, something great that happened to you,
and
move on. Once you cut all ties with her and start
dating new women and
making new friends, you
will find that we all have the ability to
start a new life.
I am assuming that you are still fairly young.
There are a lot of
wonderful women and you will not only be
able to
forget your ex, but actually learn from
the experience, and apply the knowledge to your next
relationship.
If she does come back, just try to forget these problems as a
bump in the road and
cherish your relationship. Your love will
actually get stronger this
time.
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