to improve relationship with your husband?
for women to enjoy life with their husbands
By Robert West
"One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us
tend to put off living. We are all
dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the
roses that are blooming outside our windows today."
~ Dale Carnegie
||So true it is! How many of us really take the time to "stop and smell the roses"? Most of us spend way too much time living in our minds... either thinking about the future or the past... going through life as sleepwalkers. Time meanwhile... waits for no one. Before we know it, the years have passed. What have we missed? A whole lot! Maybe the better part of our lives. But it's never too late to
grab on to life and start living it for all it's worth! "Smelling the roses" is really talking about living in the here and now. It means enjoying the air we pump into our lungs with every breath. It means getting out of our heads and truly becoming a part of the world around us. It means tasting the food we eat... seeing the faces of the strangers we pass on the street every day. It means being truly alive. Gloriously... vibrantly... alive! But were not talking about roses. We're talking about relationships! We're talking about truly being with the one we love!
Are you and your lover strangers living under the same roof? Or are you both truly there for each other? Do each of you listen to what the other has to say with focused attention... really hearing what they are trying to communicate? Or do you sometimes drift away... or instead of really listening... be thinking about what you are going to say when it is your turn to talk? Do you stay visually focused on each other when conversing?
(Related article: How
to keep the passion alive in a marriage?)
A strong relationship means BEING TOGETHER! It means sharing life's experiences together... exploring new territory together... growing as people together. IT MEANS LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE BETTER TOGETHER! So... if you or your lover's routine is to come home from work... turn on the TV... and pop a tall cool one... maybe it's time to think about putting on some soft music... lighting a candle... and just both stopping long enough to relax together instead. Talk about whatever... your day... good news about the children... your plans for a fun weekend... whatever. But most importantly... JUST BE TOGETHER! This is not the time to
talk about bills or your "honey do" list. This is the time to unwind... to take a fresh look at the person you are living with... your life's companion... and enjoy each other's company!
So don't spend the rest of your life trapped inside your mind... "lost in thought"... or drugged out by
television. Make it a point to start seeing... being with... and truly enjoying those beautiful human beings who live in your house with you! Time is short... sometimes shorter than we know. So no matter how hard your day has been... and how badly you feel the need to unwind and relax... be sure to make the time to say hello to that little puppy wiggling with unconditional love... to give hugs to those rambunctious children who literally live for your love... companionship... and attention. And above all... take the time to really hold each other...
feel each other's warmth... feel the vibrant energy coursing through both your bodies... to taste... feel... and smell the one you love!
Britney Spears Kevin Federline marriage)
A wise man once said, "The time we spend living in the here and now is the only time our body is healing itself... energizing itself... a time when we do not age... and the only time we are truly alive." Granted... learning to live in the here and now is not easy. Some folks climb sheer rock faces to dizzying heights, using only their bare hands. They say that one of the main reasons they do it is because it brings them totally into the here and now! Makes them feel incredibly alive!
Something about being on the edge of death does that to people. The same goes for athletes focused on the game... musicians on stage before an audience... folk intent on a hobby... and that perfect moment at the pinnacle of
lovemaking when nothing else exists but you and your lover! You get the idea.
In Aldous Huxley's book "Island" the parrots that live in the tropical paradise he describes are trained to squawk, "Attention... be here now!" as a means of reminding residents of the importance of living life this way. So don't despair. Practice makes perfect. The more you remember to live in the here and now... even though it may only be once a day for a few moments... or once a week... the sooner you will find this incredible state of being becoming natural to you!
When you sit down at the table for a meal... empty your mind of everything but the food and the beautiful human beings you are "breaking bread" with! When you go to watch the kids do sports... or music... or perform in a play, forget the rest of the world and fully enjoy the experience. As for television...
watching an uplifting or romantic program together can be a wonderful thing for two people to share. Just don't leave it on as background noise! Just watch when people in a room where a TV is on trying to have a conversation... even if they haven't been watching. Their eyes will constantly turn away from the person talking and fix on the TV screen. It's that addictive! And... when you are
making love... totally be with your lover... not fantasizing about some dream lover. (Although fantasy can be a powerful
tool to spice up your
lovemaking) So learn to live each day like it is the last. But above all... truly live!
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