Paris Hilton for President

I think all those people who were supporting Stephen Colbert for President but were disappointed when he could not compete in the race can, like me, rally behind Paris Hilton to run for the White House. I think no American in her/his right mind can vote for yet another gray-haired white man (Yes, I am talking about Senator John McCain) who has never used a computer in his life, has trouble keeping his facts straight due to aging related memory loss, is in no way different that President George Bush, and can easily put even the most enthusiastic to sleep.

Senator Barack Obama is a much more exciting option but he definitely lacks the cuteness of Paris Hilton. Finally, we can have someone who can compete with Carla Bruni or Kate Middleton or Elizabeth Kucinich and we can finally say, "America, that's hot!"

Boys and girls, do not fail to register to vote (particularly if you are a Hispanic and have just become a citizen) and make sure that you vote in the presidential election for our very own Paris Hilton.

If George Bush can be president for eight years, even a dog can be a president and Paris Hilton definitely has a higher IQ that that of her dogs.

Jason Jones Elizabeth Kucinich interview

While Americans may have low moral standards themselves, when it comes to their politicians, they want them to be as perfect as God. While all kinds of crooks and idiots become politicians but the people who vote for them have chosen to ignore the dirty details.

So when it comes to our president, we want only a man who is perfect in nearly every way. When it comes to our first lady, we have even higher expectations: a lady who is subservient to her husband and is happy talking about cookies, Christmas tree decorations, and cutting ribbons to inaugurate libraries and hospitals.

What we are seeing in this presidential election cycle is that we have at least two candidates with sexy women as their wives. Yes, Elizabeth Kucinich and Jeri Thompson Kehn could bring sexyback to the White House. Watch this hilarious video of Jason Jones investigating the possibility of an attractive woman in the White House in "Is America Ready For A FLIF?"