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Let us agree on one thing: cheating among modern women is as
common as it is among men (Related article: Cheating
husbands who chase single women) which is contrary to what used to happen just
two decades ago. Starting from the ancient times, men in many
cultures have
considered it as their prerogative to have some kind of
extra-marital
relationship. The practice was so widely prevalent among men in
some macho cultures that their
wives even supported it in a subtle manner so that family life was not
disturbed. There were reports that when Japanese and
German men would travel
to Thailand and The Philippines on so-called sex tours, their wives
would even include
condoms in their suitcases so that they would at
least have protection. (Related article: Impact
of adultery on family life and children) Since the 90s, things have changed in the sense that a lot of the
married women now have extra-marital
affairs assisted by the Internet. This has been going
on very quietly throughout the world in the same manner that it goes on for
men. There are websites, clubs and hotels that would oblige and actually
make it easy for these bold women to engage in extra-marital relations. And of course, if you do happen
to see your neighbor in one of those situations, you keep it to yourself
since you might try it soon or are already trying it. (Related:
How to
confront a cheater) |
 The biggest temptation is a partner who neglects his
family life or is just not able to fulfill the emotional needs of his
wife. After several years of marriage, as his wife takes care of the
kids and has less time for the husband, the communication between the
couple is extremely limited. Reports indicate that once kids are
born, many couples do not share the bedroom any more.
Dr. Andrew Atwood, the reclaimed author of the book Hopeful
Solutions for Sexless Marriage, estimates that as many as 17 million married
people in the United States have hardly any physical intimacy. (Related:
Retaliation affair) Absentee Husbands
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Mary,
a 30-year old woman says, "My husband is always traveling. And even when he's home, he
seems to prefer his beer and TV over me. He likes to be with these
younger
women in the office. He thinks that I am too old now that I am in
my 30s. He is too busy
improving his golf game."
Similar
comments are heard from women by us all the time. When
the kids are young, it is OK for the women to live like this since they are just too busy
with their motherhood. Once kids grow up and start going to school
(and these women are still young by any standards), they have plenty of
time and money on their hands. No wonder they start thinking about
having a romance. The practice is so common among certain parts
that having a boyfriend or a lover is a status symbol and women seem to
discuss among themselves their latest
adventures. No wonder "Desperate
Housewives" has been such a big success. (Related
article: Clues
of a man cheating online)
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The Internet has been a big boon to
women with the emergence of several
websites that actually allow one to find
casual
relationship with married people very easily. Now that
they seem to have a powerful system that can connect them to a wide pool of
men, the preparation can be done from
the privacy of one's home. In fact the situation has gotten so bad
that in one of our online surveys, one in three women contemplated
having an
extra-martial affair. (Related article: Infidelity
hurts)
While
we will not recommend that one stay forever in a loveless marriage, cheating for
the sole purpose of having some fun is not acceptable either for women or
men. Not only does it
hurt the relationship, it has an adverse impact on
family life, particularly if children are involved. If you think you are
tempted to have an affair, you must immediately get in touch with a
marriage
counselor (or at least a reliable family friend) and then discuss the problem with
your spouse to reduce any further damage to the relationship. Dr. Lee Baucom, in his excellent book Save
the Marriage, writes, "It doesn’t always “take two to tango.”
Sometimes, a relationship can be transformed by one person."
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