 She continues, "I am originally from
Europe
and when I came back from my last
visit home I wasn't excited to see him and that
started a whole crazy thought process. I did meet
someone while I was home, didn't spend much time with
him but we have been
talking online every day. I can't figure out whether
I'm bored and lonely and looking for some excitement and
so this man that is
paying a lot of attention to me is winning me over.
Or if I am really
not happy with my husband so I am using this man as
an easy way out. Because it's hard to leave everything
and start all over again with nothing, but if there's
someone there waiting it seems to make it more doable. I
want someone that I can't bear the thought of losing and
my husband unfortunately is not that man. What should I
do?"As
you are finding out,
marriage, and for that matter any relationship, is all
about compromises. Our
spouses are not always exactly what we dream of and
that can often lead to frustrations and
disappointment. While you
dated your husband for just 3 months, I have heard
from women who felt like you even when they
dated their husband for years. People turn out to be
who they are not, and over time, everyone changes.
A lot of people are like you but considering that when
you
married him you loved him, he appears to be a good
man/husband/father,
my advice would to to
work
on your marriage rather than giving it up so
quickly.
Marriage is a full time job for all of us and
whoever does not like hard work should not be married.
Yes, there are other
charming men out there
who you dream of, but get this idea out of your head
that life will somehow be a
trip to heaven with them. It maybe different, but
again it will be a lot of work.
I think right now your
problem
could come from being a mom, and being lonely in
America. I know that compared to Europe, it is not easy
to
make friends in America here, but you need to work
on
developing a network of friends, maybe through the
moms or a hobby that you would like to pursue. If
possible, take some classes to learn something new and
get active beyond just
taking
care of your family. Even a part time job will make
things exciting for you. |
