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Lack of self-confidence and
self-esteem is a problem that affects millions of women. In a survey conducted by us, we found that as many as two out of three women felt unsure about their looks and considered it to be a problem in
finding a relationship or enjoying their current relationship. But it is important to know that a lot of the
fears that women have are just fears (in other words, unreasonable and baseless) and
can be overcome with just simple reasoning and little effort.
Let us take a look at some of the common fears that women have:
I get scared when people look at my direction. I often think they're judging
me.
We are all so interested in how "we" look that we rarely care how others look. We are inherently so selfish that we rarely find the time to even notice others. So no one really has the time to judge others. When people look at you, they are merely trying to
establish
communication. If you simply smile and be polite, your fear will gradually go away.
(Related:
Self esteem for girls)
I am scared of rejection.
Who isn't? In fact there is something wrong with people who do not
feel bad after
rejection. We just have to appreciate this reality so that we can continue to
take risks without worrying about rejection all the time.
I
am scared of being left out in social situations.
There are two important things you need to know about social situations.
One, people tend to talk to people that they
feel affinity with. It can be age, sex, skin
color, class, whatever that makes us more
comfortable. That is why even powerful
networkers (think salespeople, pastors/priests,
politicians, etc.) struggle to find new people
to talk to. Two, we are all so desperate for
listeners for all the wonderful things that we
like to talk about. So if you can be a good
listener and ask questions, people will love
you. All you need to do is to be interested in
other people and simply join any group of people
talking.
I have a fear of changing my clothes in front of people in my gym class in the locker rooms (even though there are only women around).
Even
extremely beautiful women (including Hollywood celebrities and
supermodels) are conscious about their bodies and seem to find defects all the time. Just ask one of those
Beverly Hills plastic
surgeon! Even some women as beautiful as Gillian
Taylforth seem to be so self-conscious. She told
Sun, "I've never had a great deal of confidence and I've
never thought I was sexy." A lot of your fears are related to your concern about people judging you and your fear of rejection. You need to find your strong points and how you can use those to
develop a more positive body
image. Trust me, very soon you will be running around in
revealing
clothes.
I am scared of going outside my house without any makeup on. Even if I have to go outside to get the newspaper or the mail, I feel it to be necessary to get ready.
There is nothing wrong with looking good all the time, even when you are totally alone or with someone who is very close to you (and would not judge you by how you look, for instance, a family member, spouse, or a close friend). It is human nature to feel good when we look good. Similarly, we like to see other good-looking people around us. So dressing up and
putting on makeup to look and feel good are simple techniques to have a great day. For the same reason, I always suggest that women not only worry about what they were on the outside but even their
intimate
clothing (even if you know that no one is likely to see it). You will feel good yourself when you do that and it will show in your demeanor and attitude.
The reason why you may feel so awkward is that here in the US we have become too casual. Women in Europe, Latin America, and Asia are more likely to be dressed and made up more often and that is what is expected.
(Related:
Self esteem tips from Hillary Duff)
I am scared to trust people.
There are no
simple tricks for establishing
trust. However, you can always start off by trusting people that are already close to you. If you share just a little bit more than you have done so far with them, you will realize that you have
built even stronger
relationships. Use this newly found trust to build similar, stronger relationships with other people that you don’t know so well.
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