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Nathan
writes, "I am a
married man for 14 years now and I have two
children, one 12 and other 9. I am 54 years old and my
wife is 34 years old. Last week, I returned home early
from work and I did not inform my wife about it (I did
not have any agenda here; I thought it would be nice to
surprise my family and then bring everyone out for
dinner). My
wife is a homemaker and I never suspected that she
was
unhappy with me or her life. I knocked on the door
several times and there was no answer but I heard the
TV set playing and that the door was locked in the
inside. I had a key with me and I managed to get inside.
I saw my
wife hiding in our bedroom shocked and shivering
badly on seeing me. I asked her what was happening and
she was breathless and could not utter a word at all. I
noticed that the bed was a mess. I searched the house
immediately and saw an
unknown man to me sitting on the sofa in the family
Room. I questioned his presence and there was no answer
from him or my wife. I was shocked,
depressed and I left the house. Later my wife told
me that she knew that guy since 2 weeks through one of
her cousins and she was starting
making love with him when I rang the door. Then they
panicked and stopped. I am still in a
depressed situation and do not know what decision to
take especially that we have 2 children. Please help
me."
Adultery is just a
symptom of problems in a marriage
My experience shows that
when a spouse cheats, there is generally
something wrong in the marriage. Obviously, since
she is the one who has committed this horrible act, you
can throw
her out and
get a divorce, but maybe not so fast since you need
to think it through. First of all, it will be tragic for
the kids. Secondly, you need to find out
why she
wanted to cheat.
After reflecting on it I encourage you
to
speak to her as two adults to figure out
why she cheated and
what can you both do to make the marriage work. All
marriages have ups and downs and it is not a bad idea to
use a low point to improve things. Hopefully, you can
find out for sure why she was tempted to
have sex with another man and then work on it. |
