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Sheila
writes, "I am 28 years old and in a relationship with a
guy that is 14 years my senior. We have been together
for almost 5 years now. In the beginning of the
relationship he cheated and a child was produced out of
this union. Against my better judgment, I stayed and we
have been having problems ever since. Within the last
year we have been arguing a lot. It is now to the point
I am
so unhappy that I have
slept
with two other guys within a one month period. No,
he doesn't know about any of this but I know I have to
at least call it quits and SOON. One of the
men that I
slept with is 10 years younger than I am and even
though I wasn't thinking about it, because he was so
attentive and sweet, we
ended up in bed. It is now a week after we have
slept together and I haven't heard from him. I guess I
have become accustomed to him and the attention I was
getting. He actually made me feel pretty, as silly as it
may sound. I know I am just reacting to being in a
bad
relationship but part of me actually felt like we
could have had something, nothing permanent, of course.
None of the two guys know each other. Do I still try to
call the
18 year old or wait to see what he does? The other
guy still calls me occasionally since, he was more of an
old friend
I have known from junior high school and we just
happened to take it to another step. WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
Why men do not call after making love
on a date?
Let me first address the issue of this
boy toy not calling you back. There could be many
reasons:
With these possibilities, the best
thing is to simply end it here, though, I see nothing
wrong if you send him a flirtatious note telling him how
you
enjoyed being with him. Do not suggest a next time
yet but there is nothing wrong with honestly telling him
what you liked. Then wait to see what happens. If he has
more interest, then he will write back and maybe he can
be a
secret lover for you as you want, but if he doesn't,
then don't push it.
You maybe better off building something with someone
that does care and that is why you are better off with
the other guy who has been warmer to you.
And finally, I suggest that you also look at your
relationship with the older man. None of this is
solving that problem which is making you engage in
casual, unfulfilling sex. You are just 28 and life
has a lot to offer you. If it is not working out with a
single dad probably
going through mid life crisis, tell him ciao, and
try to move on. |
