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Marianne
is a
single mom with a two-year old. She starts off by
describing the relationship with the
father of the child, "I really did end up with a
dead beat. Trevor and I got together about three
years ago. I
got pregnant three months later and we
got engaged. He
cheated on me several times. I say at least three I
found out about. Trevor and I separated when the baby
was only three months. We stayed separated for over a
year. Then I met another man Johnny, he was older; I was
20 and he was 34. He had
ten kids but didn't get to see all of them. He
took care
of my baby every day while I worked. He was so good
to him and the baby loved him. Trevor saw his son just
three times the whole year we were separated. So the
poor kid didn't know
who his
dad really was. Me and Johnny didn't work out either
because he was
way to controlling and he wouldn't let me talk to
Trevor at all even for my baby's sake. So we parted
ways. After that Trevor and I got back together and
tried to make it work. But he just won't
grow up...he wants to drink and
hang
out with his friends instead of taking care of his
son. So I moved back to my mom's house where I am now.
Without a father, the baby cries a lot because he
was somewhat used to having a man in the house.
Unfortunately, Trevor doesn't care at all about him or
me. I'm
torn between the two men because Johnny just
recently called and wants to take things slow and work
this out but he has other females he's talking to. I
really enjoyed being with him but he just bitched so
much. I couldn't do anything without him bitching at me
but he was so good to my baby. I still love Trevor
dearly. I feel like I can help him with all his problems
in his life but he makes me so mad when he messes up or
does stupid stuff.
Life gets hard at times, especially when I have to
go to work everyday and support my baby alone! Tell me
what do you think and give me a little advice please."
Men who abandon their children are
losers
I am not impressed with either of
these two men. Their behavior so far has shown that they
will bring nothing but agony to you. Yes, like anyone
else, they have a few good things, but their bads are
way more than the goods.
I know it is overwhelming to work and be a mom to a
two-year old. Plus, living with your Mom is nothing to
be proud of either. I am sure that you
get lonely from time to time and would like to
have a man who can give you love and a sense of
security.
Based on these two points, I would say that you still
stay away from both guys. Just be patient and focus
on yourself and your son. If you are careful and more
selective, you will realize that you will
meet a better man who will not
have
so much baggage or be just
losers.
It may take 6 months or 6 years but you want to
be with a man who can bring
security and stability to your life than you having
a man who behaves like a baby.
Since you are a
good girl and have a lot of things working right for
you, you feel that you can fix
men with problems. Trust me, and you as a mom know
it well, it is hard changing a kid's behavior; it is
nearly impossible to change a grown up man's, especially
those with serious issues, like Trevor and Johnny.
I know it may appear to be hard but this is the time for
you to focus on putting your
life on the right track. You are already working and
in a few years when your son goes to school (he will
need less attention at that time), you can think about
getting some more education so that you can move up in
life by
getting a better job. And once that happens,
good men will like to be with you. |
