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We both
have agreed that we could not leave our families for
each other. NOT because we don't love each other but
because we couldn't imagine the
destruction we would cause to the four precious
little souls we love. I am strong enough to be okay with
his decision and mine. Honestly, it was the logistics of
trying to figure out who would live where, etc. that had
me pretending we could just
divorce our spouses and
live happily ever after.
Does
that mean we will stop loving each other? NO! Far from
it; we have developed a deeper respect and understanding
for each other. Maybe we are
crazy in love and are taking BS but it is our BS to
live and figure out. As I told him, if either of us
work things out with our spouses, then we both will
build our romance into a
deep loving friendship instead. He accepts this and
I accept this because the thought of losing each other
is not worth anything.
So we
continue as
each
others love, living in our
marriage for the sake of our children. We both feel
our
spouses are friends and are
great parents for our children, just not our
partners in love. He doesn't know where things will
go. His
wife says she wants to change for the sake of their
marriage. He does not hold hopes of that considering
she has been this way for 45 years of her life and
throughout their marriage.
I
agree, that
romance novels,
movies,
songs, all play on the
perfect partner, the happily ever after, but those
come from some percentage of truth. I have seen one,
yes, rather sad, but I have seen one of my friends in a
relationship that is so deep and loving it
practically depresses those of us who are envious of
that. I KNOW that kind of
real
love is possible. Our situation is full of
complicated circumstances but I accept him, our
circumstances and will love him any which way possible,
even if it means just being his
loving friend. |
