 There is a 50%
chance that a woman will go through
divorce and it ain't gonna be easy dealing with it. Lorena
Bathey, the author of "Happy Beginnings: How to Become Your
Own Fairy Godmother," (published by Scepter Press) describes
the initial three levels of grief common to women in the first
few months of their divorce as:
- "Get me alcohol quick;"
- "I don't
need a man," and,
- "I'm a
loser who will be living alone with many cats."
After moving
beyond these levels, she concludes that three new phases take
center stage in a
divorced woman's life:
- A selfish phase, in which one tries to
find a replacement boyfriend so as to not feel more
pain;
- A self-help phase in which one lives in
the psychology section of Borders and Barnes and Noble, and
reads every book about recovering from a divorce; and
- A self-empowerment phase, in which a
woman becomes her own advocate -- or "fairy godmother."
How does a woman become her own
fairy godmother?
According
to Bathey, Fairy Godmothers in Training begin by
visualizing the presence of a special fairy godmother
who embodies all of the attributes they wished they
possessed. At first, one's fairy godmother is seen as a
being outside of oneself. However, as each woman learns
how to take her power back and strengthens emotionally,
she becomes less susceptible to the hurtful comments or
actions of her
ex (How
to treat your ex). As she gains more and more power, the fairy
godmother on the outside will naturally become a part of
her on the inside.
Bathey argues,
"When a woman becomes her own fairy godmother, she fully
realizes her sense of self-worth, and she will no longer put
up with the kinds of things she put up with before. For
example, when she is ready to
jump back into the dating game, this time, she will not
settle for a "fixer-upper" relationship. That is what many
divorced women do. They find guys who don't fit and try to
make them fit." Instead, Bathey encourages
women to wait for exactly what they want.
Recommended:
Life
after divorce for men
How to start a new life after divorce
How to make a new
beginning?
Get fair share after divorce |
