|
Dorothy
writes, "I am a
good mom, wife, and employee, but I am so lost.
There is nothing to complain but I get no
spiritual joy out of my
marriage or my
children. I was hoping that
I will be so happy one day when I will have a
great job, a
man who will love like no other, and kids who will
be around me. On the contrary, all
I feel is emptiness. What did I do wrong? I would
not want to
leave my husband or children or my job because all
is good, but other than
what else can I do find happiness?"
Live first for yourself and then
for others
I
understand your frustration, and the fact that your
principle in life is to hurt no one, I would say that do
the best you can but do is not lose yourself in the
process. I know a lot of
moms who abandon living their lives for the sake of
their kids, who then grow up, and do not even thank
them for the sacrifice. Some kids actually abuse their
parents when they grow up and the parents feel terrible.
I am not advocating being a
bad mother, but I want you to remember that first
and foremost you must
live for yourself and then for others, including
your kids and husband. If you
sacrifice yourself at the altar of
motherhood (a
mom's duty is to give birth,
provide
love, nutrition, value system, and education but
beyond that
people should go out and build their own lives), no
one will canonize you. It is your life, take charge of
it, because if you don't, someone else will, and it will
most likely be someone close to you like a family
member.
Be a good wife but maintain your
identity
Similarly,
being a
good wife is definitely the right thing to do, but
in trying to
please your husband all the time, have you lost a
sense of who you are?
Marriage is a partnership in which you build a life
together but not at the expense of your own unique
identity.
A job is just a job and should not
take over your life
The
same is true for a job too. Since
lifetime employment is now only mentioned in history
books and an employee is nothing more than someone
who helps the
shareholders rake in the profits, while one should
do one's best, there is no reason to sacrifice your life
for your work, not even if you
have company stock in your retirement plans. You
still need to
maintain work life balance and there is no guarantee
that your labor will be rewarded. |
