Raymond,
a young man in his 20s, is
living
with his
girlfriend in early 40s. They plan to
get married eventually. He writes, "Last
night while in bed she brought up the subject of
kids and if I ever wanted any, I was surprised that
she brought up the subject. Throughout the conversation
I got the feeling that she wanted to
have a kid with me (she already has a daughter and a
granddaughter) pretty soon if I choose to have one that
is. To me it kind of
seems that she's rushing it but on the other hand she
wants to
have a child before it's to late for her. The women
in her family go through
menopause in their mid-50's. I don't know why but
it's always been like that so maybe she
wants to
have a baby before that milestone is reached. I
would like to
have a kid with her but I don't know if I want one
right now, but then again, time is the enemy for her and
to be honest I would freak out if I knew I was
going to be a father so soon (I have already ruffled
quite a few feathers by planning to
marry a woman that is close to my mother's age). Yet
again another conundrum of a
young man dating a mature woman."
It
will be nearly impossible for her to
get pregnant naturally at this age. Even if you try
right away, a
woman after 40 finds it hard to deliver a healthy baby
(there is a very small probability of her
getting pregnant but many of these end up
prematurely as a
miscarriage or
kids born may have genetic problems). And since you
are so young and still very early in the relationship, I
would not encourage you to
have a child right away anyway.
An option for you would be to use
donor eggs and that would give her the option to
father your child well into her late 40s.
Adoption
would be another option to consider if you do not mind
raising
someone else's child. While
expensive, a
surrogate mother is an option when a
woman simply cannot carry a baby.
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