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Sharon writes, "I am
single woman in mid 40s,
never married, and
highly focused on my career, have had a few
rewarding relationships, but none that could make me
get married. On an
overseas business trip, I
met a wonderful man who rocked my world. While we
did not spend as much time as we would have liked to,
meeting him was like an explosion in my internal world.
Unfortunately, when I got back home, that man has
stopped all contact with me. It has been very
painful for me and I often think of him. My pain got an
extra jolt when I heard from my colleagues in his office
that he was at the site of an industrial accident and no
one knows what happened to him, True, the most right
explanation for what I'm suffering of is helplessness.
When you can't find any possible key for a problem and
thus don't know what to... And when you are sent into
panic by
pain that befalls someone very special. For me, life
always seemed to be not much complicated - if there is a
problem, there must be a solution for it. I'm not wise,
not strong at all, life just taught me to become a
logical and
quick
decision-maker, and after some situations that
served me as lessons, I always knew that only me, nobody
else, may take care of my little self. So I have this
perpetual tension inside to be able to foresee possible
problems (as I work with the
politicians, especially in international relations,
I have to be like that!) and now it must have became a
part of me, like a shell of a hermit-crab. I was a sort
of always ready for anything to happen. Now I know that
definitely not to anything. Though in his
company, I simply felt for some time totally free of
that tension - it was not just pleasure of
communication and mere
sex-appeal, but it was also a precious
feeling of being really happy and RELAXED, as I felt
safe and secure near a
strong man, not only because of his physical
strength, but because of his strong nature and clever
mind, and it had nothing to do with my desire to load
him with my routine problems. No, because of him the
problems and routine life seemed to become vain and
trifling. You are a man, so it's difficult to explain my
thoughts as a woman, but I do miss that waterfall of
feelings he gave me. I was thinking the whole night
about the situation and early in the morning I called
his office, and told everything about him to a
colleague. I was told that nobody saw him dead, so I
still keep a slight hope that it's possible to find him.
Actually I expected from her an advice or something like
that, but her reaction was surprisingly sentimental. And
she sincerely offered herself to help me to try to find
him! Sure you may say that it's stupid, I understand,
but I need it to know that I did everything I could."
A lot of time we all go
through life rather mechanically, like you did, but then
something happens that makes you realize that we are not
just machines, but
human beings with beating hearts and emotions. Being
with this man made you realize that and while it was
nice that it happened, it also had a tragic side: it was
not meant to be for reasons that both you and I are
still struggling to figure out.
I am glad that you called
your colleague and were honest with her. It is always
nice to be honest in matters like that and I know that
women in general are very discreet so you can be assured
that she will
keep
your secret. I really hope that this man is Okay
because even though he may never be yours it will be
good to know that he is well, even if you are not in his
arms. But as I have said repeatedly in the past to many
of my readers, use this new
found passion inside you and the
fire that has been lit to find what you want. Life
is too short to keep waiting. |
