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Norm
writes, "I was
dating a single mom but then she
got back
with her ex with whom she had
never really broken up
completely. After we had a
fight she apologized to me
and says that her
ex-BF and
father of their daughter is
not the man she wants to spend the rest of her life
with. That is how I came into the picture. I just caught
him in her bed again and she says she is not having any
romantic moments but for the sake of the
child and her
family she needs to act like they are together. I find
it odd. We resolved that we
give each other some space.
She says I am such a
great man that she does not want to
miss out on but she needs time to sort herself out. What
I find disturbing is how do I deal with this space
thing. I have both
emotional and
physical needs that
need to be met. I wonder, should I just
move on in the
meantime and if I
find someone that makes me happy then
I should just settle with that person. This is a whole
new area for me and I have
not had a breakup before and
this is the first
girl I have dated genuinely. May be I
should just
treat her as a friend. I am so confused.
What do you think?"
How to
let go of a woman who is stuck with an ex?
Yes,
like you I find it odd too. If she does not want to
spend the rest of her life with him, why this hypocrisy?
Something is so wrong with this whole picture.
If she is a
great woman for you, I would say that there
is
no need to breakup with her but do give her time to
sort out her situation first and then you can
get back
to her only when she is
truly single and can be
monogamous with you.
The way things stand, it could take her weeks or even
months to clean up her situation. I think because they
have a child together it makes sense to stay in touch
but it is clear that the guy definitely just does not
want to give up on her either. Otherwise, you know how
guys are. They
move on pretty quickly.
I would suggest that you start
dating other women in the
meantime because there is no guarantee that she will
come back to you. There is a distinct possibility that a
few months later you find out that the two are
getting
married. So if you find someone in the meantime that is
as good or better than this woman, then good for you,
but if not, and she is truly single and interested in
moving forward with the relationship, you can always go
back to her. In any case,
dating other women is a
good
backup plan either way. You can let her know that the
two of you can
stay in touch as friends in the interim
but you would not decline
dating opportunities in the
meantime. |
