to succeed at family life?
men and women have to do their part
By Imfwama Wotela
Women are still not where they should be.
While they have made some progress, there is a
long way to go even in the so-called developed
world. So the key for women all over the
world is to believe that they are as good as
anyone else. In this series of articles, we
have already discussed how women
should believe in themselves, how they should take charge
of their lives, and how
to find people that they can trust. I
also gave advice
on behaving and thinking like a grownup person.
It takes much more than what you think to be a man. A woman will respect you in the home if you will be firm and are able to control your relatives and give your wife the love and respect she deserves in her home. You made the decision to marry her and made vows, so remind the outsiders if you want to see your
relationship grow strong. Itís very important to be firm in your decisions. Family, friends and society are good but they all have a separate place in your life, for instance, the portion meant for family is not meant for society. Your love life also has a separate entity in your life and this applies to all other aspects of life.
As a parent you have a role to play. Firstly, you are in charge and not your children. You planned for them and you know what is best for them too; so until the time is right, you are the final authority. You decide how your kids must be brought up and you stick to it believing that itís the best way and they will not depart from it when they grow up. Make rules as to when they should watch TV and which programs and when they do their homework. Be firm and mean what you say despite what the media says or what name your children give you. They may call you mean, but if you know that you are
building their future, then donít allow them to break you down. Put your foot down and do what you believe is correct based on your experience, wisdom and understanding.
In a relationship, how a man will treat you depends on how you wish to be treated. If you accept abuse, then know that he will batter you every time. Make up your mind that if a man raises a finger at you and threatens physical violence, then my friend, it means you walk out. That is an example of a principle. If he wonít respect you, then there is nothing to hold on to.
How to make a
Talking about family, itís also important that as a child, you know and realize that there are times when you need to be left alone to think and decide on what you want to achieve or do when you are older. You too are entitled to privacy. This area will train you to be able to think about stuff and win challenges later on in life as you grow. What would happen if your parents died now? How will you deal with things? It is also important that you prove and show to your parents that you are capable of making the right choices. When you are older, please tell you parents things like, ďI am sorry, but I want to do this by myself and my way since I am now a
grownup woman/man.Ē At times parents forget that you are no longer that little girl/boy but it will take you telling them that you love them but it is different now. It will help you a great deal as they will not just come into your home and start to make rules for you and your spouse. Yes they are parents but tell them in all honesty and sincerity that you will not accept or tolerate anything that conflicts with what you believe in or how you have chosen to live your life.
Unfortunately, I have seen men struggle with this issue and it has destroyed their relationships.
That is why it is important to be principled and to stand firm on what you decide for yourself.
esteem issues among women
How not to hate my life
Child with younger husband
I am bored with my husband
Sex after childbirth
What should I do if my marriage is failing
My husband does not love me
Is it time to leave my husband
I am desperate to leave my husband
How to give up control
Why I decided to stay in a bad marriage