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Raymond
writes, "I often
think
about this girl I used to work with, who is married
now. She was usually very receptive towards me, always
smiling and laughing with me, trying to get me to
talk to her, especially when she knew I was not in the
mood, always
calling me
her friend though I never associated with her
outside of work, borderline
flirtatious stuff etc. She even let me feel her
leg muscles one day when the subject of
working out
came up. However, I became confused as to
how to interpret all of this, as she once explicitly
told me how she wouldn't date short guys or guys outside
of her
ethnic background (and I am both of these). To my
knowledge, she can be best described as a
flirtatious religious woman, who might like
playful advances, but whenever I tried that, she was
usually unresponsive. Anyways, one day she informed me
that she was quitting the job soon to make room for
school, and on her last day, she
took photos with everybody, gave everybody hugs and
goodbyes, and left without saying a word to me. I
never knew if I was supposed to say something first or
what. She even came back for a month a year later to
help our place out during a busy time, and like nothing
ever happened, was all
smiles, even standing next to me at the end of one
day when a bunch of us were chitchatting. I began to
suspect it was all just fake, to see how much she could
string me along. The last time I saw her, as she got out
of her husband's car, I just happened to be standing
there
smoking, she and I quickly exchanged one-word
greetings, and as she walked away, I asked her about her
school and she a gave a quick response, and that was it.
It felt fairly awkward and very strange. Never seen her
again, and her mother who works with me seems very
careful to never mention her name to me, and I for some
reason can't seem to talk about her either. What should
I do? There is a part of me that feels like definite
sparks were there, and another side of me that thinks it
was all a joke and I should just forget the whole
matter, but we all know how easy that is. Should I try
to contact her, knowing that she is already in a
committed
relationship and in doing so will risk even more
awkwardness between us? Or is it better to try to
move on,
to ignore what simply can't be ignored?"
Women who flirt without thinking are good
for just one thing: flirting
Looks as I have disappointing advice for you. You will
be better off simply forgetting about her, especially
now that
she is married. I don't think you will go anywhere
with this girl and this is why. The behavior that she
showed towards you on a few occasions, for all I know,
was just her way to feel good about herself. A lot of
girls like to tease guys because when they salivate
looking at them, they feel good about themselves and it
makes them
feel young,
desirable,
sexy, or whatever else they want to feel.
Attention from men is an affirmation for them. And
while you may want to believe that you were the only one
and someone special to her, my guess is that she did
this with dozens of men and continues to do so wherever
she is.
I think when you wrote to me about her personality, you
have nailed her
personality and behavior. These women
are in general just awful, if you were to ask my
opinion. They end up making
men fall in love with them while they are nothing
but people
desperate for attention. Men in their lives are
nothing but means to make them feel good. The way I see
these women is that they are good for
flirting and
engaging in conversations. If you end up with the
right girl, the conversation might also lead to
making out or even
casual sex,
but all these are not to be taken seriously, because a
girl who goes that far is still affirming to herself
that she is
desired by men or that she is
good at sex or whatever else crazy image she has of
herself.
If you want to heed my advice, please do not
contact her. I have no hope that anything will come
out of this. If you look hard enough, you can
find another girl with whom you have a better
chance. And now that you know more about such women,
when you see another one, just use her as a toy to
entertain yourself, because for her,
guys
are nothing but toys. |
