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Who should women trust?
How to find friends whom you can trust?

By Imfwama Wotela  

Summary:  Women are still not where they should be.  While they have made some progress, there is a long way to go even in the so-called developed world.  So the key for women all over the world is to believe that they are as good as anyone else.  In this series of articles, we have already discussed how women should believe in themselves and how they need to take charge of their lives.  In this part we will discuss who to trust and how to deal with people.

Photo of a man kissing his girl on the cheek as she smilesOpening up your life to others is not always easy but for some it is not a problem. But be careful who you do it to. When you open you life to people, make sure that you are ready and prepared for what may come out. The outcome may be good or it may be bad. It may change your life forever. So ensure that you are ready for ridicule, sympathy, criticism, help, encouragement, etc. The response will depend on whom you choose to open up to. No matter how complicated the situation is, always have a sense of security within yourself that you know what you are doing and you believe this is the best way out.  (Related:  How to find a boyfriend?)

My friend’s elder sister was dating this nice guy but she didn’t know that her best friend had an eye on the man as soon as she was introduced to him. Every time she had a fight with her boyfriend she would run to her best friend and report every activity. Her friend knew where her mate was going wrong, but instead of advising her on what to do, she used her friend’s trust and weakness as a stepping stone to get the man. The best friend began visiting the man and somehow won him over by doing what her best friend ‘failed’ to do. The best friend Sandra saw where the problem was in her friend’s relationship, but instead of advising her mate, she used her weakness and betrayed her by stabbing her in the back. Today Sandra is married to this man and Jane is still single and in shock. She says that Sandra would always tell her that he was not worth it and that I should leave him and look elsewhere for a better man. How sad!

So you ought to be very alert in life and you can’t just trust anybody that smiles at you and calls you friend or sister. Be intelligent and search all things to know if they are genuine. Don’t just accept it because someone is so eloquent in speech. See if they live up to what they tell you, check their lives, do some research and see if they are sincere themselves.

When you employ a maid, you don’t show her where you keep your money or the secret code to your safe or bank account. What is in your inner self is very important because it is what will manifest on the outside. Make rules and statements when necessary like when forming an organization that will require funding from outside. Ten years down the line, you will earn respect, trust and prosper a great deal. It is better if you are famous for speaking the truth, sincerity, helping the needy, being a wise advisor, and keeping your word.

I know a young and very lovable lady who has a troubled relationship with her boyfriend. When she fights with her man, she cries and complains to her roommate, classmates, best friends and cousin. Everybody hears the story. She goes to church and does the same thing. Whoever would find her in the toilet crying would hear her story and this has been going on for a while. This is very dangerous to your character and image. I would say get a hold of yourself, girl! You are not he only one that goes through stuff; we all do and sometimes it is even worse. It’s not healthy to run from point A to B and on the rooftop to announce to the world that your boyfriend is messing around or vice versa or whatever it is you are going through. It does not help you or your hearers at all. It just strips you of your dignity. Be principled; it’s very vital. You are entitled to your privacy and you are not obligated to open up to just anybody. How can you hold a job that requires you to keep important information confidential?

The young lady today has a problem because there are so many distorted stories about her relationship. At times when she is walking around the college she can hear someone point at her or say, “That is the girl who is forcing herself on that guy, etc.”

Make a rule how you choose to live. You need to have a certain kind of control on your own life so that you do not lose sight of what you want to do with it because not everybody wants to see you succeed. So if you don’t have inner strength, someone else will do it for you.

Continued:  How to think and behave like a grownup?

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