MYNIPPON

No, I am not talking about women on a girls-night-out to have fun all by themselves (hooking up with guys is not the intention but might happen).  I am talking about single women who form a group to go out in hopes of meeting men in bars, concerts, nightclubs, etc.  I understand the reason.  It is a bit intimidating to be all by yourself in a new place.  As a guy, I can say that even for men it is intimidating to go somewhere alone.  When you are alone you feel weak, like a loser really, and when you have buddies you feel that you have someone to cling to.  Unfortunately, if your goal is to meet guys, you want to go all by yourself, or with just one girl-friend who is also single and is there for the same reason.  You also want to make sure that she is not judgmental, will be able to survive on her own if you disappear, and will not do something stupid to hurt you.

Guys want to hit on just one girl at a time:  That is why I liked the advice of Carianne Barrow, “When you’re out, be aware of the signals you give out, too.  Girls often go out in large groups and this can be intimidating for a man to approach.  If you’re in a group, step outside the circle occasionally — this doesn’t mean ditching your friends, just make sure you’re with one or two people at regular intervals so if someone does want to come over, they have the opportunity.  If you see a hot man and you want to approach him, go for it.  Men love to give advice, so asking for a recommendation about other places to go is a good place to start — as is getting him to recommend a drink.”

Group dating does not exist:  My recommendation is that you leave your herd behind as soon as you see the opportunity because the last thing a man wants is to feel judged by a group of girls while he is all by himself.  At that point, you almost make it appear that you are not with the group any more and even move to a part of the bar that you cannot be seen by your girl friends.  Give your full attention to him and hint that you have a way to get back home by yourself; in other words, you are no longer glued to the group but are fully focused on him.

I strongly encourage women to be proactive in finding a man that they desire, but there is something else that you can do to find a relationship sooner.  While you are doing some work yourself, let also the guys do some of the work as well in finding a girl like you, because the way you are trying, so are they.  By making it easier for dudes to find and approach you, the probability of meeting Mr Right goes up exponentially.

Women need to take charge and responsibility: One of the proponents of this approach is Carianne Barrow, winter of a Bachelor style contest on television, and creator of the Female Pickup Artist training program.  She says, “[Women have to] learn how to become more confident from within, the key things to do on a night out and the importance of being approachable, as well as the importance of making a man invest in the relationship.  You have to make room in your life to meet someone new.  If you look around you’ll see people rushing here and there but sometimes you need to slow down.  Many women march along the street with their eyes down and their arms folded.  If you want a man to approach you, you need to give him a chance, so walk slowly, make sure your eyes are up and smile.  There are opportunities to meet people all over the place — if only you allow it to happen. Women make excuses and use a lack of time as the reason they’re single but there’s always time if you make it.”

You don’t meet guys only in bars:  If you read my tips on starting a conversations with strangers in places that you are going to be anyway, a bank, supermarket, laundromat, flower shop, subway, etc., you can meet the man of your dreams the way Marcia Cross met her husband at a florist.  Barrow has some other useful advice for girls in the dating game.  She adds that men are attracted to positive, happy girls and we should focus a lot on how to make the most of ourselves at all times.  She adds, “If you’re single, ultimately it’s down to you — luck doesn’t come into it.  You have to take action and do something about your situation.”