MYNIPPON

Love & life, guilt free

MYNIPPON header image 1

Is it okay to breakup by text message?

Or by email (if you still use it), or a Facebook message, or even worse, a tweet.  Ouch!  If this sounds mean enough, then, remember that Katie Holmes and Rupert Murdoch did not even do any of this; they first hired an army of lawyers to start the divorce proceedings, and while Holmes did make a brief call to Tom Cruise, Murdoch is such a narcissist that he let his attorneys do the talking and they were the ones who told Wendi Deng that she was basically being thrown out of the life of a rich, old man.

Breakup after short-term, casual relationship:  In my opinion, if you are only casually dating someone and barely know each other, it is okay to breakup electronically (though it is still better to treat the other person with respect and do it in person).  Still, a text message is mean, because you do not get the chance to say much.  I would say that take some time to compose a short, sweet message explaining what you are doing and say some good things about her or him (after all if you two did not have good feelings for each other you would not have been in a relationship in the first place).  The reason for this approach is that you want to behave like a human being to a fellow human being and if you behave like a jerk (regardless of how mean the other person was), word will eventually get out and your reputation will be ruined — this may impact your dating prospects in the future.

Breakup after long term relationship:  If you have been dating someone for months, have had a good relationship, or have been living together or have been married, unless there is so much hatred between the two of you that you cannot even speak on the phone or meet in person, it is best to give the news in person.  Always speak of the good times that you had and how it is best for you to move on, either because something has changed or you have found another partner or you have concluded that it is best to go separate ways.  Remember, it is the right thing to do because even if your partner hurt you, you still want to behave like a good person.  Apparently, Russell Brand divorced Katy Perry via a text message on New Year’s Eve and after that never spoke to her again.  Assuming that Katy Perry might be the worst woman in the universe, Brand still behaved inappropriately.

→ No Comments yet

Why would a younger woman like an old man like me?

Charles writes, “She is 25 years and I am 52.  I am currently on unemployment and financially insecure.  I have told her this relationship is ludicrous because of the age gap and my financial situation but for some reason she insists she wants this relationship to continue. She has admitted not being attracted to men her age and I have witnessed this without her knowing. She also found that they were all selfish, rude, arrogant and disrespectful even the ones that had good careers, homes and money. I have tried everything to discourage her, however, in my attempts to do this has only tightened her reins on the relationship continuing. She is very gentle, wholesome, clean and tidy with home and her physical self. Speaks quietly, loves to cook, travel, do activities and work together. Never comments if I have quarreled with someone, instead has a way of ‘settling the beast’ by taking my hand and leaning my head into her body. I can go on an on with all the fine qualities this young woman has without fault and know only one fear she has which is being left alone or us parting. Why am I feeling like this when it is every man’s dream to have a young woman at his side ? They say there’s no fool like an old fool, so which fool am I?”

Your doubts about her intentions are well placed and you need to give some more thought to what she maybe after.  Assuming that she isn’t chasing something that you have and will dump you as soon as she gets it, I would like you to know that people are complicated.  One of the things that some young women these days look for is stability and commitment, which unfortunately is missing among many male youths these days who are growing up in a culture of hooking up, moving on from relationship to relationship, having children without any commitment whatsoever, and not really providing any reassurance to women that they care much about building a family.  This preference is particularly strong among women who have been mistreated or abused by guys who took advantage of them and just moved on.

Maybe she sees that you are a man of values and she can feel that you will be there for her if she will be there for you.  If that is the case, get rid of your doubts and embrace her — she is a gem of a woman.

→ No Comments yet