Juicy

Monique, a 23-year old girl writes, “When we are engaging in sexual activity, my boyfriend seems to be the one who does all the work. He tries to pull me on top of him but I resist. I feel that I want to try new things but I’m afraid that I’m going to make a fool out of myself! I have many ideas on what I would like in bed and I want to try but since I am making love for the first time in a relationship, I may be still shy in expressing my wishes. What should I do?”

It is OK if he does all the work as long as he is not complaining. Many men like to be in control, and selfish as it is, often are more concerned about their satisfaction than an orgasm for the woman.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you going on top either — it is a popular position among many men (I like it too because it delays orgasm for men, and thus, women can get more pleasure). So just follow his lead.

Having said that, many men do not like passive women in bed or may soon get tired of them. They want them to be active partners, come up with new ideas, and take initiative. So it seems that you already have ideas and all you need to do is to present them to him. They key to not suggesting something that is beyond his comfort zone but to suggest a small change in what you have already been doing rather than something that he has never done or even mentioned. For instance, you could suggest role play if he already appreciates you in lingerie, or try to make love in a different room rather than just the bedroom, but I think you should wait to tell him all your wild fantasies for the time being.

Janice, a 35-year old wife of a truck driver, writes, “I need some help in dressing and talking sexy to my husband. He is a truck driver and I go with him all the time and there are times when he has time on a run that he is doing and those are the times when I what to dress sexy. But the problem is I am afraid of what other people might say or think because of the job my husband has. We stop in truck-stops to eat and shower and there are a lot of drivers out there (who have been alone on the road for weeks) and they only think of one thing. I hope you can help in spicing up our marriage, since I am living in a sexless marriage right now.”

I totally understand the situation in which a wife wants sex and a husband does not give. Here are a few things to think about as you try to bring passion in your marriage:

No matter where you are, there will always be men looking at you with bad intentions. Trust me, even in a shopping mall full of families with children, men still have the same things on their mind (it is in their DNA). What you need to do is to learn to ignore (people will always think or say something no matter what) men because you are dressing for your husband and not for the world. It is important to feel confident when you choose to dress a certain way.

Try to change your lifestyle to the extent possible. For instance, you can dress the way you want and instead of eating in the truck stop restaurant, get some take-out. Many rest areas often have green areas for a quick picnic. If you are spending the night in a motel, eat in your room or the lawns outside or next to the pool — it wouldn’t hurt to call a cab and go to a local restaurant also. There is always a pretty place around.

Depending on the time of the year, you can always use a trench coat to cover yourself as you get out of the shower in a truck stop. Another great way to cover yourself is to wear a cardigan or jacket or scarf. That way you don’t show what you do not want to to everyone and it takes just a second to take off your cardigan at the right time.

Heat it up in the bedroom. I can imagine that sometimes he might be driving all night or late into the night and you might be sleeping in the truck itself but whenever you get a chance, wear nice lingerie while you guys sleep together in a motel. You are in the privacy of your sleeping quarters and he will appreciate admiring your beauty after a long day.

Before we look at the whole Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair topless photos drama, here are a few things to understand about the world:

Miley Cyrus is no innocent child star any more.

Disney is a for-profit corporation and if you are idiot enough to assume that somehow the company cares about you or your children, you need to take a course in Business 101.

Here in the West we tend to associate Disney with kids, particularly girls, and if any of us adults do associate ourselves by visiting a park or shopping in their stores, it is as a family. In Asia (and I am referring to the Orient here that includes countries like China, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, etc. here rather than India or the Islamic countries in the region), girls do not like to grow up and it is fairly common to see grownup, even middle-aged women going ga-ga over Disney or Hello Kitty products. The Shanghai Zhenxin Garment Company with the permission of Disney is simply serving a large market.

Remember how we went nuts when Abercombie and Fitch tried to sell a thong for little girls? Or how hell broke loose when Wal-Mart was selling panties with a double-meaning Santa’s credit card message? Things like that don’t happen in Asia where products to adult women are often marketed using underage models.

The conclusion is that Disney has the least interest in punishing Miley Cyrus or Vanessa Anne Hudgens (she was never actually punished by the company for her provocative photos). The company is simply trying to make a buck and considers this sort of developments as merely nuisances that it hopes will go away soon. It would not have acted if so many people were not shouting on top of their voices.

In the end, idiots like you and I may be wasting our time talking about this because Miley Cyrus gets to sell more CDs and concert tickets, Disney makes money through the franchise, Vanity Fair website gets record traffic and magazine sales explode, and the Chinese women get to wear their favorite lingerie.