• Be yourself.  Do not try to be a Japanese because that is not the reason this man has agreed to date you.
• Behave like a woman.  Japanese men expect them to be men and also expect women to be women.  Bring out your feminine side in the best way you can.  It could be the way you dress and also how you present yourself and talk.
• Do not expect a lot.  It is very likely that this gentleman may be more nervous than you are.  If he does not know your language well, things could be even more complicated.  Be patient and treat the first date as a 'get-to-know-each-other' opportunity.

After the first date has gone well and the Japanese gentleman has called you to go out again, the tricky part is to determine if he is sincere about it or if he is just being polite.  In Japan, one thing that is avoided at all costs is causing embarrassment to others.  For instance, you might hate the other person and would never want to be with that person again but you just don't make the other person feel that way.  You would still call and say how good the date went and how much you enjoyed the other person's company.  The Japanese people have a keen sense and it is not difficult for them to figure out exactly what is going on.  On the other hand, if you are a non-Japanese, you will have to read the signs carefully.  Here are some guidelines:

• If you don't hear from the guy at all for a long time or if he sounds as if he is just being polite, just do nothing but be polite.  It will come to an end without any problem
• If the guy calls and you sense sincerity the first time, find an excuse and ask him to call again
• If he does call again and sounds even more sincere, this is your last chance since you might be embarrassing him if you do not go

So allow some more time and you can take it relatively easy in this case.  While we still advise you to dress well and act as a woman would do, you can treat him as a friend and even show some emotion.  Regarding any intimacy, remember that it is not acceptable in the Japanese society to express physical affection in public.  While some adventurous Japanese may try to shake hands with foreign people, they will simply not do the same with other Japanese people.  Thus, I believe that holding hands or kissing is probably unlikely to happen especially if you go to a place where there is not a lot of privacy.  In any case, do not expect him to make the first move even though we have been telling you to be more feminine elsewhere.   (Related:  Black women and Japanese men)

This date is a good opportunity to know your date a little more intimately.  Japanese men are not great communicators and typically they will not talk about their feelings with someone they do not know very well.  What that means is that a lot of the answers would have to be obtained indirectly and you will find out the answers in a couple of days as you get some time to reflect and make sense of the remarks.

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