- Be yourself.
Do not try to be a Japanese because that is not the reason this man
has agreed to date you.
- Behave like a woman.
Japanese men expect them to be men and also expect women to be women.
Bring out your feminine side in the best way you
can. It could be the way you dress and also how you present
yourself and talk.
- Do not expect a lot.
It is very likely that this gentleman may be more nervous than you
are. If he does not know your language well, things could be
even more complicated. Be patient and treat the first date as
a 'get-to-know-each-other' opportunity.
After the first date has gone well and the Japanese gentleman has
called you to
go out again, the tricky part is to determine if he
is sincere about it or if he is just being polite. In Japan, one
thing that is avoided at all costs is causing embarrassment to
others. For instance, you might hate the other person and would
never want to be with that person again but you just don't make the
other person feel that way. You would still call and say how good
the date went and how much you enjoyed the other person's company.
The Japanese people have a keen sense and it is not difficult for them
to figure out exactly what is going on. On the other hand, if you
are a non-Japanese, you will have to read the signs carefully.
Here are some guidelines:
So allow some more time and you can take it relatively easy
in this case. While we still advise you to dress well and
act as a woman would do, you can treat him as a friend and even show
some emotion. Regarding any intimacy, remember that it is not
acceptable in the Japanese society to express physical affection in
public. While some adventurous Japanese may try to shake hands
with foreign people, they will simply not do the same with other
Japanese people. Thus, I believe that holding hands or kissing
probably unlikely to happen especially if you go to a place where there
is not a lot of privacy. In any case, do not expect him to make
the first move even though we have been telling you to be more
feminine elsewhere. (Related:
Black women and Japanese men)
This date is a good opportunity to know your date a little more
Japanese men are not great communicators and typically
they will not talk about their feelings with someone they do not
know very well. What that means is that a lot of the answers would
have to be obtained indirectly and you will find out the answers in a
couple of days as you get some time to reflect and make sense of the
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