The single most common complaint that women have is how men so often forget to treat them as different from them.  It takes a while for a woman to get into the mood regardless of how she feels about the man.  For her, undressing is part of the act of being intimate.  Many a man in a hurry to get into the act forget that undressing a woman, if not done in the right manner, can have disastrous consequences on how she feels during and after intimacy.  So often we get emails from concerned men who thought everything went perfect but they do not hear from the woman again.  When we probe deeper as part of our romance advice service, we realize that while the evening was otherwise planned well, the man did a terrible job in the bedroom.

If you plan on being intimate with a woman then you need to be extra careful in how you treat her.  While it might be just another lay for you, vast majority of women do not feel that way.  For them it is a special moment every time.   Women do not just go to bed with someone for the fun of it.  They need to feel a special connection with that person, they must like the person to some extent, and they want the experience to be memorable.  You will get a second chance to do this only if you do reasonably well the first time.

Undressing, or for that matter the complete act, is broken down into several steps and each needs to be done with tremendous attention and grace.  Here are some tips:

• You must tell her how much you love her and touch her very gently. Like you would touch a flower or would just admire its appearance. Since the clothing is the last defense against actual contact, some women may try to keep them on as long as possible, particularly if they feel that they are not attractive enough.

• Dim the lights or use aromatherapy candles just in case she feels a bit shy.  Start with a slow, soft kiss so that undressing is part of something bigger.

• From far, compliment her dress.  Be genuine and creative.  Do not just say that she looks good.  Tell her exactly what is that is different and pretty about her.  It is much better to say something like, "I like that eye shadow you are wearing" or "That pink bra really suits your blouse" or "I like that you chose to wear a black bra and red panties."

• Look into her eyes and gracefully kiss her neck. Tell her what it means to you to have these special moments with her.

• Let her clothes fall from her body and kiss her every step of the way.  Offer help when necessary, e.g., with unzipping or helping to fold the clothes (some women are very careful about not just dumping their clothes - even dirty clothes should be gracefully lifted and put into the basket).

• Do not touch her yet and do not force her to take her underwear off yet.  If you plan to go to the bath with her, she will do it herself or will ask you to.  If you are headed to bed, then let her be in control.  If you think she is expecting that you take it off for her, be ever so gentle in unhooking the bra and carefully sliding the bra down.  Make sure that you fold it neatly (you can show your affection by feeling or touching or sniffing her underwear after it is off her body).  Repeat the same when taking off her panties.

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