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Since late August I have even been enjoying going
braless
in thin, skintight summer tops leaving my little ones free to bounce winsomely -and
slightly- as they do as well as even having the privilege of being able to show my body, yet without looking obscene. However, there were times every now and then when I even caught some people staring (Isn't our male species obsessed with
breast size? It was because of them I spent all this time hating my body, after all..! They should decide what on earth they like so that we know what to believe, anyway!!). Well,
going without a bra in
public, letting my little ones show slightly underneath my tops was a part of the whole project of accepting and start feeling proud
- instead of embarrassed - of what I used to dislike in my body. It was all about proving myself that I don't need to hide behind
heavily padded bras and that I have no problem showing everybody what I have and feel good about it. In addition to that, I have started to dress in a more feminine and trim way in general and I must say have even received compliments from people of my very circle of acquaintances concerning that sudden turnabout of mine. Not to mention that John (my boyfriend) really seems to enjoy it quite a lot. However, there were a couple of cases in which even he, couldn't hold himself from murmuring a little about me having gone a bit more "revealing" than what he would like me to (I did nothing reprehensibly extreme, however; he is just being a little bit of the "only I want to have the right to see you like this" kind of guy, much as he almost never lets any jealousy feelings show -and I loooooove being claimed,
hehehe!). (Related article: Plastic
surgery raises self esteem and improves body image)
Well. Not that I don't sometimes still get a bit
insecure about how desirable I might look, having those little fruits instead of those huge hills always promoted on television and magazines as the one and only feminine-looking pattern! After all, I am just a human being living among brainwashed and trying hard to stop being brainwashed myself! Not an easy task, trust me! I had always gone a little uneasy observing, while hanging out with my
best friend, how much guys compare us with each other, and of course, she is much more feminine than I am as she is quite large up there. Not that I would EVER envy that wonderful young lady that was once proved to be the only true friend I had. But it hurts a bit when being compared with somebody else and get rejected right away. And sometimes it also feels a little uncomfortable to know that while my friend is six years younger than me, I am the one that looks peewee rather than her, as it is not just my pubertal-sized chest but the entire looks of mine that is rather teen-looking (You know, baby face, small stature, slim frame and all that), while she is exactly the opposite (you know, tall, large,
curvaceous,
like
Vida Guerra, and all that.)
(Related article: Breast
augmentation)
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And this is how it has been for me all my life as I ALWAYS
looked younger than my real age and thus had to deal with people's comments about me being
"underdeveloped" and "shorty" forever (you should see the astonishment in their faces whenever I mention I am 28 years old; they give me a look as if they were told I am a Martian or something). Not to mention all I have been called within the last few years; among other
things, "flat", "lizard-girl", "wisp of a girl", "little kid", "you little
Pokèmon (the stupid
anime title supposed to be deriving from 'pocket-monster')", "you little smurf", etc. And of course, there were also the typical wisecracks such as "that girl in the bar now has a chest; go
get yourself some
implants!" and the like, which of course, always resulted in me setting all my WRATH free and casting it upon the insulter (insecure or not, I have always been too proud to swallow such things).!!!
(Related article: How
can women build their self esteem?) Anyway, what I had never noticed is that while my well-endowed friend I mentioned before always gets all the attention wherever we go due to her proportions, I am the one that has been in a satisfying relationship all the way while she was single -and frustrated- most of the time as all those guys that claimed her always turned out to be just morons. Seems like guys that choose a girl judging on how impressive their size is to them are as vacuous as their criteria of selecting a match in their lives.
(Related article: Story
of a woman who found happiness even when she had a small
chest)
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Anyway, what I can proudly say is that I am now really making progress, as those times when I might get a little insecure about that "being petite" matter are getting fewer and fewer. I know there is a possibility it might take quite long for me to totally overcome this but comparing to how I used to be, which consisted in calling myself "hermaphrodite", never letting even my own boyfriend touch or even look at my chest, as well as spending every single day (with my
birthday being the hitting bottom) thinking and feeling terribly miserable about it, I must admit that I believe I have made a hell of a progress!
(Related article: How
to develop inner beauty?)
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And now that I mentioned my birthday, what an infernal evening was that one! All the time I was busy fixing my long hair, dividing it in two and bringing
it forth, sidelong to my face so that it hangs forth, serving purposes of chest-hiding curtains! And every time John pulled my hair back in a tender
gesture to caress my face, kiss my neck or anything, I immediately brought it back ahead where I had it, bowing my head to make sure my hair was covering my chest. And that, my sisters, was the night I turned 28 (just 1½ months ago)! Oh, dear...! I think I am going to bury that day's remembrance deep down in the muddy soil of oblivion, hahahaha!!!
(Related:
Elle Macpherson not to have cosmetic surgery)
Really, I feel sad for having spent all these years hating my
miniscule chest so much. They are in fact cute and really don't deserve being hated. They look
funny without yet lacking any charm. They even look like they have a personality of their own! When I stare at myself in the mirror, they look like twinkling eyes looking at me. I can almost hear them talk to me. They are my teeny-weeny tender rosebuds and they are
adorable. (Related:
Self esteem tips from Hillary Duff)
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So now that I am having an overview of it all. well, yes, I think I must regard some progress!!! At least now I have nice feelings about my cute little chest! And I really like myself in general; I am proud of who I am and I do posses many qualities as well! Besides, a small chest like mine fits right on a generally petite looks like mine, anyhow. In conclusion, my message to the rest of the world is: Get lost, my chest is cute (and so is the rest of me) and if you could be a little more receptive to diversity you would also feel the charm that emerges from that beautiful small size of theirs you so much deprecate! And if most of you find them unattractive, know this: I really don't care (yet, beware! If you become insulting, I
will always strike back - that's another thing!). Besides, compared to the population of the entire world there are only a few people that can appreciate a fine, priceless piece of art; yet that does not make it worth any less. So, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being beautiful to the few and eclectic ones of a fine taste! How did you like
that?? Hehehe. Seems like somebody is giving themselves airs - and feels
gooooooood!!! **grins & winking** Related articles: Self
esteem for women- how to raise it? Should
you get implants? Petite,
but charming
Self esteem for girls Evening
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Proud of
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Flat chested woman
Do men
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